Tag: jesus

Doing What I Most Want — William B. Coker, Sr.

This week my memoir about the caregiving of my husband, Bill, is being published,* and that led me to look again in Bill’s journal for a comparison of what he was like before Alzheimer’s disease took control of his life. What did he want most to do? The constant theme of Bill’s serious talks during dementia was: “Do what’s right and do what’s good.” That had a basis in his desire to please God in all that he did. Following is an excerpt from his journal.

“How foolishly I keep piling up things to do…. So much I want to read, and the day is full without accomplishing some of what I’d like to do…. But, I am doing the thing that I most want––to serve the Lord, be busy in ministry that affective. Just wish I were more disciplined in scheduling what I do….

“I must not let my latter years be determined by the earlier. However long God allows me to continue, my voice and my life must be His to use. My people must have such if I am to lead them––lest I be like the unfaithful watchman in Ezekiel’s prophecy. [13:8–12; 33:1–6]

“I do sense God’s working in me in a more profound way, transforming me, conforming me to the image of Christ in a way I have longed to see. I also am aware of my need to ‘practice grace’… as Romans 6 so graphically reminds us. Right now, I need to slow down, lest I crowd out the very times of being before the Lord, and allow weariness to dull my spiritual sensitivities. I must be sure that what I accept is what the Lord wills and not for the sake of gratifying my own ego. I need time to pray this morning––time to be refreshed and renewed by the Spirit. I’ve felt so overpowered by what I’ve had to do that I’ve not done what I’ve wanted to do.

“May God forgive me that I’ve grieved over losses rather than rejoice that He is always at work in every situation for good. He never abandons us to circumstances––life’s dark valleys or those who stand against us. Somehow my preaching must always bring this joyous truth to those who are hearing. I remember Dr. Robertson’s words in the class on preaching: Always end your sermons with the good news. This is Gospel preaching.”

You can continue to hear Bill preach on his podcast, Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. Tune in with most podcast servers. A new message is downloaded every Wednesday. He is currently finishing the book of Ephesians. A new series on the book of Colossians will follow. ~AC

*An Honest Caregiver: Facing the Reality of My Husband’s Dementia

It’s Time to Make a Choice

In late December I choose which devotional book I’ll read alongside my Bible for Quiet Time each morning. I encourage you to join me in reading devotionals. To help with your selection, I’m including some of my favorites.

            As a young teen I began the habit of reading a daily devotional book. I still recall how vividly God spoke to me through those “two listeners” in God Calling. Through the years I’ve found that when placed alongside Bible reading and prayer, devotional literature is valuable to my Christian growth.

            My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers is a devotional classic. On day one the author invites the reader to make an unreserved commitment: “I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.”

            Thumbing through the pages of Morning by Morning by C. H. Spurgeon, I remember personal events. The year I read this book we cared for my husband’s mother who was dying with cancer; our first grandchild was born; and my father died. Beyond these personal ties, I value this book because Spurgeon exalts Christ, intertwines Scripture and hymnody, and highlights creation.

            Several times I have read Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, co-founder of Oriental Mission Society (currently One Mission Society). Because she compiled this volume during the six years she nursed her sick husband, the lessons speak to the hurting, the persecuted, the doubting. Her theme is confidence in God.

            Although I’ve read other books by E. Stanley Jones, I prize The Way to Power and Poise. His central theme is the ministry of the Holy Spirit, a relationship that produces a Spirit-controlled life.

            Hannah Whitall Smith is best known for her book The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. In God is Enough, editors Melvin and Hallie Dieter have compiled daily readings from nine of Smith’s books. Through the heartache and sorrow in her life, Smith affirms God’s sufficiency.

            In my view you cannot find a better resource on prayer than The Meaning of Prayer by Harry Emerson Fosdick. The chapter on “Prayer as Dominant Desire” made me examine my motives: Did I truly want what I prayed for? Or more exacting: Did I pray for what I wanted?

            A few years ago I discovered Disciplines for the Inner Life by Bob and Michael Benson, father and son. The format includes prayers, Scripture, hymns and excerpts from a broad base of Christian writers. In each week’s topic I found new truth to pierce my self-righteousness. Keeping a spiritual journal helped root the lessons.

            One year I read Each New Day by Corrie ten Boom, who tied together truths of experience and Scripture. The next year I selected Diamonds in the Dust by Joni Eareckson Tada. Through her struggles to accept her disability, she has found in Scripture many “diamonds” which have made her “rich in faith and wealthy in hope.” This past year I read Wisdom For the Way by Charles Swindoll, excerpts from his several books. Brief but powerful daily reflections.

            Not meant to be a devotional book, I must include one by Evelyn Underhill, my husband’s favorite author. While you might have to find it in a used bookstore, I recommend the volume which includes: The Fruits of the Spirit, Light of Christ, and  Abba. She has a style that touches the heartstrings with intellectual precision.

            In recent years, I’ve found current authors who have collected devotions from earlier saints. Such are: Take Time to Be Holy by Samuel Logan Brengle, edited by Bob Hostetler. Another by Hostetler: The Bard and the Bible, the Bard being Shakespeare. Two compiled by James N. Watkins: Intimacy with Christ, includes classics by Brother Lawrence, Francis of Assisi, and others; and The Imitation of Christ, devotions by Thomas A. Kempis, in today’s language. I also include one of my favorite current authors who, among her 50 books, wrote Jesus Every Day: Prayers to Awaken Your Soul.

            I’ve introduced you to some of my favorites. These you may consider when you make your choice. Look them up online to better acquaint yourself with authors and topics. Then choose for yourself a devotional guide to read on a daily basis by matching the book to your personal, present-day need. God will speak to you through His saints.

Hope for America

Top: Asbury University Revival 2023 and Bottom: Church Youth & Sponsors Serving Love Packages

My hope for America is rooted in God’s work among the youth of our nation: high schoolers, college students, young adults. I’ve noticed in recent weeks and months their commitment to follow God’s calling on their lives.

The first events were revivals on college campuses. At Asbury University, Wilmore, Kentucky, a spontaneous revival lasted several weeks and spread to other colleges across the nation. When people heard about these, they flocked to the campuses to be a part of the renewal of mind and heart. Baptisms for new believers followed.

The latest indication of God’s impact on young people came before and after the death of Charlie Kirk on September 10th of this year. This influencer connected with youth in many states, and his messages centered on what matters most: Jesus and truth. The fight continues to bring God’s truth back into our nation, communities, and churches. Turning Point USA will continue even after its founder’s death, because his wife and staff are committed to keeping the legacy growing. Jesus and the truth matter. Evil will be conquered with God’s Word.

News report from CBS on 9-5-25 — “Young people across America are searching for the truth and turning to faith in record numbers. Statistics are showing the Millennials and members of Gen Z are increasingly flocking toward faith. CBN News recently talked with politicians and faith leaders about this trend at the Kennedy Center premiere of … the new film ‘The Revival Generation.’”

Throughout our land, youth are coming on board to fight for truth. They either verbally say or put on t-shirts: “I am Charlie Kirk.” Also in the church I attend, young people unite to spread the good news of Christ and His Word found in the Bible. It’s happening where they work and play. As one student said, “Negative action doesn’t require negative reaction.” And a kindergarten teacher working with needy students reported that God has placed her there for a reason. That assurance keeps her from being discouraged.

I am encouraged about the future of America. A global impact is happening as young people stay committed to truth and follow God’s leading. This speaks loudly to me as well, for even at my age of 86, I am not finished. I still have a job to do––to speak out against wrong and for the right. I started by adopting a simple practice from Charlie Kirk: I’m turning off my phone (no social media) on Sundays. This matters because Jesus is what matters most. Join me in this fight.

Meanderings from Bill’s Journal

In celebration of Bill’s June birthday, I collected meanderings from his journal.

A June entry: I am reminded again of the value of habit, the benefit of ritual. My taking time to journal my thoughts is soon forgotten when I allow periods of time to break routine. I have discovered that habit can be a strong negative when it feeds our inordinate desires; but it is a strengthening positive when it establishes a soul-building practice.

This morning I only touch base as I must be off early to meet with a church member for prayer. It’s an intrusion into my personal routine, but a good opportunity to get another interested in a consistent prayer life.

A few days later: The psalmist’s words speak to me again: “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance” (Psalm 16:5-6). How wonderfully true! I can also say with him: “You have made known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

May God forgive me when I grieved over losses rather than rejoice that He is always at work in every situation for good. He never abandons us to circumstances––life’s dark valleys or those who stand against us. Somehow my preaching must always bring this joyous truth to those who are hearing. I remember Dr. Robertson’s words in his class on preaching: “Always end sermons with the good news. This is Gospel preaching.”

Messy Galaxy

A week later: I think there is unity in creation and that is to be seen in all He has made. I know that most of us live quite superficially. The psalmist seems more tuned in when he says, “When I consider the heavens, the moon and the stars which Your hands have made, what is man that You are mindful of him?” (Psalm 8:3-4). I think the scientist is far more informed about the elements in creation and less aware of their witness to the Creator.

The idea of “centering” takes on greater meaning and significance as I understand more what it is to pray and what it is o develop spiritually and be truly sanctified. The clean heart is not just purified; it is unified, no longer a “heart and a heart,” but whole and in union with God and reality.

~Dr. William B. Coker, Sr.

How to Communicate Personal Faith — Bill Coker

Which Way?

“I have no choice. If I am to feed these people I must put the food on the table where they can reach it. If I don’t, they must go elsewhere. So the question is ‘Can I?’ I must. My prayer now is for the Holy Spirit to give me the wisdom I need to be simple without being empty, practical without ‘dumbing down’ the Gospel.

“The really important question is whether I can be of some value to help someone else. Can I give spiritual direction to someone and spare them from some of my struggle? What I’m seeing needs to be reflected more in preaching.

“The volume of reading and time for meditative thinking have broadened and deepened my own spiritual life and have enabled my preaching. A comment made after I previewed my talk for the forthcoming Emmaus Walk was encouraging: ‘Some speakers hold your attention with jokes; Bill does it with knowledge.’

“My task is to be a faithful servant––faithful in my obedience and courageous in my commitment. All else is in God’s hands. I will be used as He wills to use me and will accomplish what He wants to do through me. What else really matters?

“I guess I’m more concerned with what I’m trying to provide ‘the flock’ than the flock is about receiving it. I know that times have changed, but where does one draw the line and say that these things cannot be sacrificed for our ‘good times.’ Many would think my feelings about these things are unreasonable and overly protective. Maybe so. And maybe the losses the Church is sustaining should tell us we are paying a spiritual price for our materialistic pleasures. And maybe the gradual slope will end at a disastrous precipice.

“The Lord continues to show me areas where I am deficient or flawed. In some ways that brings shame that I have not gotten further in my growth; in some ways it makes me aware of personal needs that unconsciously I seek to meet; but in every way I rejoice that God is still working––clarifying, correcting, cleansing, and directing. More and more I desire to be the kind of person in whom others can see the Lord’s grace at work and through whom the Holy Spirit can speak and work and manifest Himself.

“As I reflect on my own pilgrimage, I am overjoyed to see God shaping my life in ways I had longed for and now am pleased to recognize. I continue to wrestle with my personal particularities but have become more and more understanding and accepting of those preferences and peculiarities that make up myself. Where I am not pleasing God, He must inform and correct; and the Holy Spirit’s work, as Jesus promised, is to convict.

“My desire is to please God, walk in His will, be the servant of His Word, shepherd His people, and glorify His Name. I have dreamed of building His Temple, but like David, must accept a different role––not judging myself a failure but willingly and gladly being the best at being what I am.”

This is in answer to the survey I posted. I gleaned from Bill’s 2002 journal while the pastor of World Gospel Church in Terre Haute, Indiana. AC

My Identity

Thinking over the names and roles attached to me over the years, I’d say it’s been quite a few. As a baby, I was the first girl born in three Laird generations, making me special to my dad’s mother whom I called Nanny. As a favored child, I took advantage of its pleasures. While my younger sister fell asleep in her crib, I had to be rocked each night. In those years, public school started with kindergarten, so I became a student at five years of age. We moved from Mobile to New Orleans and back to Mobile where I graduated from Murphy High School. Three months later I married Bill Coker and by taking his name (and more) I became his wife. Eleven months later, the birth of our first son gave me the title of mother. Three more children sealed that name and continues today even though they are grown with their own families, meaning I’ve added the names of granny and great-granny.

During Bill’s years at Asbury College, I was known as a professor’s wife, also a student again for I studied for six years to earn a BA. Accepting a job with Good News magazine, I learned to be an editor, a title I’ve kept years past our time in Wilmore. Moving to Indiana, where Bill served as senior pastor at World Gospel Church, I again became a pastor’s wife. Again, because Bill had served churches in Mississippi and Kentucky. I preferred being wife to a pastor above one of a professor.

While in Indiana, I served at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, first as a volunteer and then a client services director. That title served me well as I trained volunteers and met with clients. My writing career continued as I helped edit articles for CPC publications. I continued to keep journals, wondering what use they will be later. Along with Bill, I accepted various positions in the Emmaus community as opportunities arose. Those titles would vary, the last being director for a woman’s walk.

Bill’s dementia journey made it possible and easier for me to get back to editing and writing, compiling his sermons and prayers for four published books. I was not content to call myself an author until I had my first book written and published in 2023. I’m writing a memoir about my role as caregiver through Bill’s dementia journey. After Bill’s death in 2024, I am now a widow.

I didn’t count up all these names, titles, and roles I’ve assumed or earned. But they don’t compare to the one I value the most. I am a child of God, loving Him and serving others in my faith journey.

This blog post is the result of reading a booklet in one day. It’s a gift from my sister Martha: Loving God With All My Soul by Julie A. Link. Identity cannot be lost if someone steals the many numbers associated with an ID. Our identity is based on being made in God’s image. We know His love for us, and we develop our love for Him through the many roles attached to our names.

Take Home Test ~ WBC

Some of you will recognize Bill’s test duplicated here. It’s minus the dingbats he used. ~AC

  • Have you made a personal decision about Jesus Christ?
  • When, to your satisfaction, did you do so?
  • Has that made a definite change in your life?
  • “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away…the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:27).
  • What do you believe?  ~ The Apostle’s Creed
  • Rational and personal conviction
  • “The love of Christ controls us because we are convinced that one has died for all….” (2 Cor. 5:14).
  • Do you have faith in God? [Consider the meaning of faith]
  • Certainty, firm reliance  ~ Confidence, Trust
  • Trust in God that holds steady in times of difficulty
  • Faith that God is at work in all things for good
  • What do you think your commitment to Christ means?
  • What does your head and your heart  say to you?
  • Does the Holy Spirit bear witness with your spirit?
  • What are your strongest spiritual desires?
  • To be with Him – public and private worship
  • To know Him – even the fellowship of His suffering
  • To please Him – greatest pleasure
  • “I want to know Christ – yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Phil. 3:10, NIV).
  • What is your participation in the Body of Christ?
  • What is your contribution to the church?
  • What if everyone did as you do?
  • What is your level of concern for others?
  • How have you expressed that concern recently?
  • What about the acid test? ~ Thy will be done…?
  • Is your chief aim in life to do God’s will?
  • Do you regularly choose God’s will over your own?

One Great Purpose

While Mary and Joseph were still finalizing their guest list and picking out a wedding cake, she startled him with some unexpected news—she, a virgin, was pregnant. 

Assuming she’d been unfaithful, Joseph was poised to cancel the engagement. But while he was still considering his exit strategy, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream—telling him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife, for the child inside her was from the Holy Spirit.

“And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins” (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬).

This miracle was the fulfillment of hundreds of prophecies—God-inspired predictions about the Messiah, Savior, or “Chosen/Anointed One”—recorded in the Old Testament.

From conception, Jesus’ purpose was made known: to save His people from their sins. Because even before God created the world, His plan was to save it.

Isn’t it interesting that you didn’t choose the time, place, body, or family in which you were born? But God has you here, right now, on purpose. 

You’ve been grafted into an ongoing story playing out since the beginning of time. And this timeless offer, to be saved from the shackles of your sin and freed from a debt you could never pay, has been extended to you.

What is sin? Sin is choosing our way instead of God’s. Sin is rebelling against His design and His plan. And we’ve all done it—we’ve all fallen short of God’s righteous standard.

But that’s why He sent Jesus—because He loved us that much.

And then, Jesus gave His life for the sake of the world.

If you’ve never accepted the free gift of salvation, today can be your day, and this moment can be your moment. There’s nothing you can do to earn it, but you can come to Him—just as you are. 

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It Will Be Different

Becky’s homemade stockings are hung again for 2024. Photo taken in 2017.

Christmas will be different this year, and it’s not only because Bill has gone Home. Last Christmas I noticed Bill watched others open gifts instead of attending to his own. After Becky’s special dinner, Bill tried out all her sweet selections. Later we sat and gazed at the decorated tree. This year Grandpa’s stocking will not be hung with the others. That’s as it should be.

Gearhart family plans are different. Chrissa, Leo, and Joana will leave for Brazil, South America, on Christmas Eve to visit Leo’s mother and family. Michael and Morgan continue to live in California, and it’s a long trip for a short visit. Stephen and Emily will join us for the day. Added is another change. Paul’s mother, Ruth, in Illinois, now lives with her daughter. While Bev and her husband visited family in California, Becky spent a month with Ruth. That meant Becky was not here for early Christmas decorating. Paul’s main job is outdoor decorations and they are special. He put up our tree with lights, but we’re saving the ornaments for Becky so she can connect with memories. I set out their nativity display along with arranging manger scenes in my living room.

The rest of my family will celebrate in their own settings, scattered in other states. My family also has its changes. My two sisters and I are now widows, and we enjoyed a September visit together in Mobile, Alabama, my birthplace. We shared past memories and made new ones. My children and grandkids live in OH, PA, MO, TN, IN, KY, CA, MD (now in Japan). I send Christmas cards to family in eight different states. I love sending and receiving Christmas cards and letters. It’s a great way to connect with friends we’ve made over the years.

While family plans are different this year, the “reason for the season” remains clear. The story of Jesus’ birth is never worn out. I learned recently that the manger in Bethlehem was made of stone rather than the wood we see in Nativity sets. Shepherds kept their lambs in mangers, safely wrapped and ready for sacrifice. Mary wrapped her son Jesus, our sacrificial Lamb, and laid Him in a manger. In this I rejoice, for Christ has made the difference in my life. I trust it’s true for you.

Gift-giving

As I prepare to join a church family’s Thanksgiving dinner, I ponder what I can bring as a gift of thanks. I’m bringing frozen cranberry salad to add to the meal, but that doesn’t seem to be the right gift to express thanks for their invitation. My first thought is a recycled item, for I’m known for that style of gifting. Perhaps coasters that belonged to Paul’s mother? No. It should be something simple, not even lasting. Ah-hah! Roses from the garden that survived our first snow. They won’t last, yet simple and beautiful. A gift of flowers reminds me of how when in Russia, people brought a bouquet when coming to the apartment. Yes, that’s the gift I’ll bring.

You may wonder why I’ll not be at home with family for Thanksgiving. Becky and Paul are in Illinois with Paul’s mother. Other Gearhart family members will gather there both Thursday and Friday. Our other children are not able to come here for various reasons. All good. A new friend I met at GriefShare found out I would be alone, and she invited me to their family gathering.

Thanksgiving to me is an introduction, a prelude, to Christmas, for we are thankful for God’s greatest gift for us, personally and for the whole world. “For God so loved that He gave.” Jesus is God’s gift of love for our needed redemption. That is the ultimate in gift-giving, and I am more than thankful. I cannot adequately express my gratitude for God’s wonderful gift of Jesus.

Now it’s my time to give as a Christ-follower. As one Christmas song reminds me, I give my heart. I give my whole self to God in an expression of thanks-giving for His gift of Jesus – for me, for my family, for the whole world. Yes, that includes you too.