faith – Ann Coker

Mrs. Chambers and Me

Most Christians are familiar with the devotional classic, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. But do you know that he did not “write” it or see to its publication? That was due to his wife, Gertrude, whom he married in 1910. Because he had a sister named Gertrude, Oswald called his wife “Beloved Disciple,” shortened to BD and then Biddy.

Oswald Chambers was a Baptist evangelist with an emphasis on holiness, born in Scotland in 1874. He traveled in Scotland and England; and in his last years, he was associated with the YMCA as a chaplain in Cairo, Egypt. He died at age 43 in 1917 after a hemorrhage following an emergency appendectomy. His wife, Biddy, returned to England to care for their child, Kathleen.

During Oswald’s life, Biddy not only listened to her husband’s messages, but she used her secretarial and stenographic skills to take notes, writing down all his words. After Oswald’s death, Biddy decided to get his messages published. She took her notes and typed out the manuscript for publication. That first book, My Utmost for His Highest, was published in 1918 and has never been out of print, having sold more than 13 million copies.

Biddy continued to pursue publication of 30 books by her husband. This task proved that Oswald and Biddy longed to do their “utmost” for their God. Biddy was 10 years younger than her husband, and they were married for 53 years. Biddy died at age 83 in 1966. Their daughter, Kathleen, lived to be 84. Here is a photo of the family when Kathleen was young.

Now this introduction leads to the reason why I’ve written about Biddy Chambers. I can associate with her in some ways. I did take notes on Bill’s sermons, but not to the extent that I got every word down. Bill’s messages were taped at Asbury College, camp meetings, and during his last pastorate, World Gospel Church, in Terre Haute, Indiana.

These messages have currently formed four published books and a weekly podcast, Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. I did not wait until Bill died in 2024 to start compiling his messages for publication. Earlier, when I would encourage Bill to write a book, he would always answer, “There are enough books out there.” But when Bill contracted Alzheimer’s disease, he could not object to my getting his messages published.

These began with the book, Words of Endearment: The Ten Commandments as a Revelation of God’s Love. When Bill saw me writing on a typed sermon, he would ask what I was doing. Avoiding the word editing, I said I was moving his words from speaking to reading. That satisfied him, and he was excited to see the printed books arrive. The other two books of sermons are: The Scandal of Christmas and Let the Church Be the Church. The fourth book is a collection of his pastoral prayers: Prayers for the People: from the Heart of a Pastor.

After Bill’s death, the two tech guys who put together the podcast continued to do the mix and download the episodes, with my writing the intros and outros and a host reading those. I’m grateful for their consistent work to have a podcast every Wednesday. You can listen on most servers and purchase Bill’s books on Amazon.com.

So Mrs. Chambers and I have set out to leave a legacy of our husbands’ works, and while I’m sure that Bill’s books will not reach 30 million sales, I am confident that his messages have and will continue to teach people from God’s Word. That’s the main reason for pursuing this ministry. Thanks to all who have read Bill’s books and listened to his podcast.

Another Move

Growing up in Alabama and Louisiana, my parents rented houses for our family of six. Whenever the owner wanted to put the house up for sale, we would move. I got used to (kinda) moving from one neighborhood and a different school during my childhood and teen years. We made friends easily, but adjusting to a new school had its drawbacks. Most often the school was within walking distance from our home, but in high school, my sister and I rode a public bus to and from school. Often after school let out, I would take a bus to the downtown library. Before going to study or look for books, I visited a small nearby restaurant and ordered French fries and a cold soda, not spoiling my appetite for supper. If it was dark when I got off the bus, I would sing as I walked a few blocks home. I thought that would keep me safe.

I married Bill, who already had an appointment at a small church in North Biloxi, Mississippi. We stayed there for two years, and he also taught English in the high school. Many of those students kept in touch over the years. We then moved to a four-point circuit in the country, and Bill arranged a schedule to preach at each church every Sunday. Some of those members kept in touch after we left. The reason for our move at that time was Bill needing to start seminary in Kentucky. To provide for our family, he took an appointment at a church. I marveled at how he kept up with studies while preaching each week. Twice we moved, due to new assignments––and churches adapted to our growing family.

After graduating with a master’s degree, we moved to Indiana, to be close to Cincinnati, Ohio, where Bill started his pursuit of a PhD at a Jewish university. He traveled on Saturdays, between school and church. Our time also involved two different church appointments. By then we had four children. Before he completed his dissertation, Asbury Seminary contacted Bill with a proposal to teach while a professor was on sabbatical. Bill secured a church, but we lived in a duplex owned by the seminary. After two years, Bill moved from the seminary to the college across the street, and we moved into college housing.

After many years as a professor, we ended back in a pastorate, again in Indiana. Bill pastored World Gospel Church for 19 years, and we had a house built. After retirement, Bill contracted Legionnaires’ disease, followed by dementia. When that progressed to needing help, we moved to Indianapolis to live with our daughter, Becky, and her husband, Paul. Our oldest son pastored a church in Ohio, and our two other sons lived and worked in Kentucky.

That brings us to the present: another move. Becky and Paul have closed on a different house in Indianapolis, and we will move by the end of July.

Here is a photo of the house in a wooded area. This will be a good move.

Doing What I Most Want — William B. Coker, Sr.

This week my memoir about the caregiving of my husband, Bill, is being published,* and that led me to look again in Bill’s journal for a comparison of what he was like before Alzheimer’s disease took control of his life. What did he want most to do? The constant theme of Bill’s serious talks during dementia was: “Do what’s right and do what’s good.” That had a basis in his desire to please God in all that he did. Following is an excerpt from his journal.

“How foolishly I keep piling up things to do…. So much I want to read, and the day is full without accomplishing some of what I’d like to do…. But, I am doing the thing that I most want––to serve the Lord, be busy in ministry that affective. Just wish I were more disciplined in scheduling what I do….

“I must not let my latter years be determined by the earlier. However long God allows me to continue, my voice and my life must be His to use. My people must have such if I am to lead them––lest I be like the unfaithful watchman in Ezekiel’s prophecy. [13:8–12; 33:1–6]

“I do sense God’s working in me in a more profound way, transforming me, conforming me to the image of Christ in a way I have longed to see. I also am aware of my need to ‘practice grace’… as Romans 6 so graphically reminds us. Right now, I need to slow down, lest I crowd out the very times of being before the Lord, and allow weariness to dull my spiritual sensitivities. I must be sure that what I accept is what the Lord wills and not for the sake of gratifying my own ego. I need time to pray this morning––time to be refreshed and renewed by the Spirit. I’ve felt so overpowered by what I’ve had to do that I’ve not done what I’ve wanted to do.

“May God forgive me that I’ve grieved over losses rather than rejoice that He is always at work in every situation for good. He never abandons us to circumstances––life’s dark valleys or those who stand against us. Somehow my preaching must always bring this joyous truth to those who are hearing. I remember Dr. Robertson’s words in the class on preaching: Always end your sermons with the good news. This is Gospel preaching.”

You can continue to hear Bill preach on his podcast, Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. Tune in with most podcast servers. A new message is downloaded every Wednesday. He is currently finishing the book of Ephesians. A new series on the book of Colossians will follow. ~AC

*An Honest Caregiver: Facing the Reality of My Husband’s Dementia

It’s Time to Make a Choice

In late December I choose which devotional book I’ll read alongside my Bible for Quiet Time each morning. I encourage you to join me in reading devotionals. To help with your selection, I’m including some of my favorites.

As a young teen I began the habit of reading a daily devotional book. I still recall how vividly God spoke to me through those “two listeners” in God Calling. Through the years I’ve found that when placed alongside Bible reading and prayer, devotional literature is valuable to my Christian growth.

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers is a devotional classic. On day one the author invites the reader to make an unreserved commitment: “I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.”

Thumbing through the pages of Morning by Morning by C. H. Spurgeon, I remember personal events. The year I read this book we cared for my husband’s mother who was dying with cancer; our first grandchild was born; and my father died. Beyond these personal ties, I value this book because Spurgeon exalts Christ, intertwines Scripture and hymnody, and highlights creation.

Several times I have read Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, co-founder of Oriental Mission Society (currently One Mission Society). Because she compiled this volume during the six years she nursed her sick husband, the lessons speak to the hurting, the persecuted, the doubting. Her theme is confidence in God.

Although I’ve read other books by E. Stanley Jones, I prize The Way to Power and Poise. His central theme is the ministry of the Holy Spirit, a relationship that produces a Spirit-controlled life.

Hannah Whitall Smith is best known for her book The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. In God is Enough, editors Melvin and Hallie Dieter have compiled daily readings from nine of Smith’s books. Through the heartache and sorrow in her life, Smith affirms God’s sufficiency.

In my view you cannot find a better resource on prayer than The Meaning of Prayer by Harry Emerson Fosdick. The chapter on “Prayer as Dominant Desire” made me examine my motives: Did I truly want what I prayed for? Or more exacting: Did I pray for what I wanted?

A few years ago I discovered Disciplines for the Inner Life by Bob and Michael Benson, father and son. The format includes prayers, Scripture, hymns and excerpts from a broad base of Christian writers. In each week’s topic I found new truth to pierce my self-righteousness. Keeping a spiritual journal helped root the lessons.

One year I read Each New Day by Corrie ten Boom, who tied together truths of experience and Scripture. The next year I selected Diamonds in the Dust by Joni Eareckson Tada. Through her struggles to accept her disability, she has found in Scripture many “diamonds” which have made her “rich in faith and wealthy in hope.” This past year I read Wisdom For the Way by Charles Swindoll, excerpts from his several books. Brief but powerful daily reflections.

Not meant to be a devotional book, I must include one by Evelyn Underhill, my husband’s favorite author. While you might have to find it in a used bookstore, I recommend the volume which includes: The Fruits of the Spirit, Light of Christ, and Abba. She has a style that touches the heartstrings with intellectual precision.

In recent years, I’ve found current authors who have collected devotions from earlier saints. Such are: Take Time to Be Holy by Samuel Logan Brengle, edited by Bob Hostetler. Another by Hostetler: The Bard and the Bible, the Bard being Shakespeare. Two compiled by James N. Watkins: Intimacy with Christ, includes classics by Brother Lawrence, Francis of Assisi, and others; and The Imitation of Christ, devotions by Thomas A. Kempis, in today’s language. I also include one of my favorite current authors who, among her 50 books, wrote Jesus Every Day: Prayers to Awaken Your Soul.

I’ve introduced you to some of my favorites. These you may consider when you make your choice. Look them up online to better acquaint yourself with authors and topics. Then choose for yourself a devotional guide to read on a daily basis by matching the book to your personal, present-day need. God will speak to you through His saints.

Hope for America

Top: Asbury University Revival 2023 and Bottom: Church Youth & Sponsors Serving Love Packages

My hope for America is rooted in God’s work among the youth of our nation: high schoolers, college students, young adults. I’ve noticed in recent weeks and months their commitment to follow God’s calling on their lives.

The first events were revivals on college campuses. At Asbury University, Wilmore, Kentucky, a spontaneous revival lasted several weeks and spread to other colleges across the nation. When people heard about these, they flocked to the campuses to be a part of the renewal of mind and heart. Baptisms for new believers followed.

The latest indication of God’s impact on young people came before and after the death of Charlie Kirk on September 10th of this year. This influencer connected with youth in many states, and his messages centered on what matters most: Jesus and truth. The fight continues to bring God’s truth back into our nation, communities, and churches. Turning Point USA will continue even after its founder’s death, because his wife and staff are committed to keeping the legacy growing. Jesus and the truth matter. Evil will be conquered with God’s Word.

News report from CBS on 9-5-25 — “Young people across America are searching for the truth and turning to faith in record numbers. Statistics are showing the Millennials and members of Gen Z are increasingly flocking toward faith. CBN News recently talked with politicians and faith leaders about this trend at the Kennedy Center premiere of … the new film ‘The Revival Generation.’”

Throughout our land, youth are coming on board to fight for truth. They either verbally say or put on t-shirts: “I am Charlie Kirk.” Also in the church I attend, young people unite to spread the good news of Christ and His Word found in the Bible. It’s happening where they work and play. As one student said, “Negative action doesn’t require negative reaction.” And a kindergarten teacher working with needy students reported that God has placed her there for a reason. That assurance keeps her from being discouraged.

I am encouraged about the future of America. A global impact is happening as young people stay committed to truth and follow God’s leading. This speaks loudly to me as well, for even at my age of 86, I am not finished. I still have a job to do––to speak out against wrong and for the right. I started by adopting a simple practice from Charlie Kirk: I’m turning off my phone (no social media) on Sundays. This matters because Jesus is what matters most. Join me in this fight.

Growing Old and Reputation by Bill Coker

Some stayed to sing together after a Senior luncheon at WGC.

From Bill’s 2002 journal when pastoring World Gospel Church, Terre Haute, IN:

“As I reflect on my own pilgrimage, I am overjoyed to see God shaping my life in ways that I had longed for and now am pleased to recognize. I continue to wrestle with my personal particularities but am more and more understanding and accepting those preferences and peculiarities that mark out my self. Where I am pleasing God, He must inform and convict, and the Holy Spirit work, as Jesus promised.

“My desire is to please God, walk in His will, and glorify His Name. I have dreamed of building His Temple, but like David, must accept a different role––not judging myself a failure but willingly and gladly being the best at what I am.

“I always thought that growing old would be great, for wisdom would only come by experience. While I look back on many regrets, see my numerous faults and failings, am ashamed of my sins, and could only wish that I had been better disciplined, I must say that ‘my lines have fallen in pleasant places,’ and God has been especially gracious.

“‛Never seek a reputation for being learned’ (a Kempis). Our quest is for truth, and ultimately, to know God––or as Paul wrote, ‘rather, to be known by Him.’ Paul’s testimony to the Philippians comes quickly to mind: ‘I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…that I may gain Christ…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings…’ (3:8–10, NASB).

“How much, how often, have I cared about my reputation––as though it ever mattered or was worth the cost of gaining or protecting it…. In spite of my efforts to ‘die to self,” I am still very much alive. Now I have no need for reputation, but the desire for it arises time and again to remind me of an enemy not completely subdued (though I see progress over the past 13 years). The words about Mother Teresa continue to show me the better way: ‘She is willing to be nothing; therefore God can use her to do anything.’ May the Holy Spirit cleanse my heart of every desire to be known except by God.”

Creator and Creations

Eight years ago Becky bought that shower curtain for my bathroom. I like it still and haven’t grown tired of it. Shades of blue on a white background. The design is of flowers, various styles. The dark and light shades of blue match the bathroom walls and rugs. When I stare at the curtain, I never ask if it were created by a machine, although mechanics contributed to its mass production. I do wonder about the person who designed it. How did she or he come up with the design repeated throughout the whole?

With all the hype about AI, I think of its meaning and impact. It’s artificial, and AI permits us to depend on something other than our own intellect. Although I’m speaking without research, I assume there is someone’s (or several someones’) intellect behind the program. But I don’t personally like its intrusion into my creative life. When I write I want it to be my work, my thoughts and words coming together to make a point. I know that what I produce can’t compare to the refined skills of other writers, but it’s the best I can do. However, I improve my craft by reading and learning from others.

When I think of creation, I first remember and give honor to the Creator––God, the mastermind of all that’s been made––for His glory and our pleasure. Just think of how the elements of earth combine to make this the correct environment to sustain life. Look at the photo above on the right: a human and an animal, that little girl and the pinguin who makes her giggle. On earth they and we have the right chemical combination to form oxygen for breathing, and we even have the force of gravity to keep us upright. God designed it all for our good.

Where does that leave my thoughts? I first praise God, the Creator of the universe and all that’s in it. Then I give thanks for all those who use their God-given creativity to design and produce something as practical as a shower curtain. Each of us is a little creator, given the joy and privilege of cooperating with God in His creation.

Meanderings from Bill’s Journal

In celebration of Bill’s June birthday, I collected meanderings from his journal.

A June entry: I am reminded again of the value of habit, the benefit of ritual. My taking time to journal my thoughts is soon forgotten when I allow periods of time to break routine. I have discovered that habit can be a strong negative when it feeds our inordinate desires; but it is a strengthening positive when it establishes a soul-building practice.

This morning I only touch base as I must be off early to meet with a church member for prayer. It’s an intrusion into my personal routine, but a good opportunity to get another interested in a consistent prayer life.

A few days later: The psalmist’s words speak to me again: “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance” (Psalm 16:5-6). How wonderfully true! I can also say with him: “You have made known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

May God forgive me when I grieved over losses rather than rejoice that He is always at work in every situation for good. He never abandons us to circumstances––life’s dark valleys or those who stand against us. Somehow my preaching must always bring this joyous truth to those who are hearing. I remember Dr. Robertson’s words in his class on preaching: “Always end sermons with the good news. This is Gospel preaching.”

Messy Galaxy

A week later: I think there is unity in creation and that is to be seen in all He has made. I know that most of us live quite superficially. The psalmist seems more tuned in when he says, “When I consider the heavens, the moon and the stars which Your hands have made, what is man that You are mindful of him?” (Psalm 8:3-4). I think the scientist is far more informed about the elements in creation and less aware of their witness to the Creator.

The idea of “centering” takes on greater meaning and significance as I understand more what it is to pray and what it is o develop spiritually and be truly sanctified. The clean heart is not just purified; it is unified, no longer a “heart and a heart,” but whole and in union with God and reality.

~Dr. William B. Coker, Sr.

Home Alone

I ‘ve been home alone this week if you don’t count the fish and dog. But I can’t discount them, for I need to feed the fish, Fire, and the dog, Jules, who also keeps me busy letting her out and back in. She’s definitely not an outside dog. Okay, I just took a quick break and fed them both.

Fire and Jules

Becky, my daughter, and her husband, Paul, were away for a week working at the church’s youth camp. Becky is head chef and Paul had responsibilities with teaching and supervising. They were only gone for seven days, but it afforded me time to think about being a widow. Since my husband died in March of 2024, I’ve not really been alone. I live with Becky and Paul, and while I may not see them all day every day, we connect in the evenings.

Becky cooks our supper meals, and Paul is the resident handyman. Now it’s a change of routine for me. For this week, I shopped for easy-prep meals, including seafood. I have eaten well, and not gone out for meals. As far as anything needing“ fixing,” nothing has broken. But I put a new battery in the dining room clock and will take the trash bin to the curb tonight.

What this time alone has taught me is empathy for widows––my sisters and friends. Most of them live alone. Some have family nearby; a few are in assisted living facilities; while others are active in their churches. For example, my sister in Alabama is in an assisted living facility due to her needs; and my sister in New Mexico keeps busy by contacting members of her church who have special prayer concerns. Both have family nearby. We all know that God is with us. His provision, protection, and presence are real on a daily basis.

Living in the same home with family, I have not experienced being alone. This week I have had to keep focused on what’s important. I’ve succumbed to distractions such as watching a stand-up comedian on my phone. He’s clean and I appreciate his humor, but watching endlessly can be a waste of time, a big obstacle, along with the energy it takes to get back on track.

This week has not been a waste of time, for I’ve learned about myself and others. I’m blessed, for God is with me. I’m thankful, for He’s my constant companion in rough and good times.

It’s Out There

What’s out where? My Memoir’s book proposal has been emailed to an agent. Now to do research for other agents and publishers. Here is part of the Introduction to Memoir from an Honest Caregiver. Are you interested in knowing when it’s published?

Introduction

One weekday morning Bill walked into the kitchen wearing only his jockey shorts and T-shirt. This surprising scene happened two years after moving to Indianapolis and buying a house together with our daughter and her husband, Becky and Paul Gearhart. Bill held two pairs of socks in his hands and asked which ones he should wear―black or white. My immediate reaction was due to fear, for our houseguest might find my husband in his underwear. I told Bill it didn’t matter; he could decide which socks he wanted. This didn’t solve his dilemma, for he could not choose.

This episode illustrates how Alzheimer’s disease affected my husband and how I reacted on the spot. You’ll read about our journey and view the stages of dementia caregivers experience. To our family and friends, be warned. You will see Bill as different, radically changed, not how you knew him (or me).

I introduce you to my husband before dementia began to control our lives. Bill grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana, the third of four children by a Mississippi-born couple holding modest jobs. His father worked in the railroad yard and his mother held a filing job in the basement of Charity Hospital. In spite of the family’s meager income, all three sons graduated from college.

Bill stayed home to attend Tulane University, earning a BA degree with a major in philosophy and a minor in English. He graduated in 1957, also the year we got married in Mobile, Alabama, after I graduated from Murphy High School.

Four years prior, Bill, as a senior in high school, distinctly heard God’s call to preach. Upon graduation from Tulane, Bill’s Uncle Bud, a Methodist pastor, helped him secure an appointment as a supply pastor for a small church in North Biloxi, Mississippi.

I sum up Bill’s further educational history. He received a BD and ThM from Asbury Theological Seminary, Wilmore, Kentucky, in 1963 and 1965. Then at Hebrew Union College in Cincinnati, Ohio, he earned a PhD in 1973, with a major in Hebrew Linguistics. For two years Bill taught at Asbury Theological Seminary and moved to Asbury College (University) as professor of Bible and Greek until 1989 when he accepted a pastorate in Terre Haute, Indiana, at World Gospel Church (WGC).

With this background, you can compare Bill as professor and pastor with what he later became. After 19 years as pastor of WGC, Bill retired in 2008. In July of 2010 he spent 24 days in the hospital with Legionnaire’s disease. Dementia set in soon after.

While you view various stages Bill traveled through, you are also in my head as I learned about myself. This is my story––how I connected with and cared for my husband. If you are now a caregiver for a loved one or soon to see that as your role, our journeys may relate.

For me, his caregiver, the basic loss became Bill as he used to be, for my expectations from him no longer held reality. Add my independence and control, along with loss of connections with family and friends.

Every good skit, play, story, or book needs a beginning, middle, and ending. It began after Bill’s hospital stay with Legionnaire’s disease. Writing in my journals about the messy middle of five years, I did not know how or when this memoir would close. The process of the ending was brief. The end came on the seventh of March 2024 when Bill, after two weeks of in-home hospice care, breathed his last. A new chapter began with my grief journey, but I’ve know God’s peace.