Ann Coker

Nativity Sets: For the Asking

From Israel From a Friend From Friends

This year, I again displayed my Nativity Sets in my living room, yet they do not have the same appeal as in other years. I think it’s because I’m the only one who sees them. So what is their significance? Are they set up only for my appreciation, or should others view them? I can enjoy their beauty and remember how I’ve accumulated them, but is that enough?

I’m thankful that Becky and Paul also decorate their space –– indoors and outside. Becky displays her nativity sets on the sofa table, along with a snowy (cottony) scene on the bottom shelf. Quite lovely! And the Christmas tree is brilliant with colored lights and ornaments saved over the years. I’d guess that most ornaments have a story. I enjoy sitting and viewing the tree.

As for my nativity sets, the photo on the left shows our first set, which Bill brought from Israel, along with the Flight into Egypt (up right front in the photo on the right). These are treasured, and I’ve even polished them with olive oil on occasion. The set in the middle photo was a gift from a friend in Terre Haute, IN. I added the angels on the left, a gift from my mother-in-law years ago. Putting this set on the piano also gives me room to add Christmas cards and books of carols. The photo on the right is a display from several friends. On the left is a musical one, and in the center is a tiny set from Kentucky. The angel in the far middle is one we used as a tree topper.

Now to the title I gave this blog post: “for the asking.” There is no reason for keeping all these nativity sets for more years to come. I’m going to offer them to our children and grandchildren. The sets need new homes, to be enjoyed by next generations. In case they don’t see this blog post, I’ll also copy and paste it to them in emails.

On another note, we decorate splendidly for Christmas, and I think the outside lights on our homes and businesses add radiance to this dull winter season. So, I’m all for it. But I’ve often wondered why we do little in the area of decorations for Good Friday and Easter, perhaps only at church. These are days that are worth receiving our attention. After all, Jesus came as a baby with the intention to give His life for our redemption and then rose from the grave to assure our eternal life forever. Just something to think about. How would I (and you) decorate for Easter?

What’s Happening?

As to what’s happening, I think of past, present, and future tenses. It’s been over a month since I’ve posted a blog. Hope you have missed my ramblings. Being productive, I plan to stay in that vein. If you are interested in my days, read on.

Past: I spent 17 days visiting our oldest son, William, in Ohio, and had the pleasure of hearing him preach in his church, where he’s served for 13 years. In addition to that privilege, I heard his wife, Rhonda, teach Sunday school, observe the church’s Pantry ministry twice a week, eat out a few times, sit in a marina nearby, and take a trip up three miles to view the Ohio River and the active locks. Add those to a memorable visit from our granddaughter, Sarah, and family, with chats around the dinner table. Returning home to Indianapolis, I connected with Ruth, Paul’s mother, who is visiting us during November.

Present: Plans are now underway for two days of Thanksgiving feasting. Our Kentucky sons, John and Tom, with their wives, come on Thanksgiving day. Friday, the Gearharts gather for another Thanksgiving dinner, both prepared by our daughter, Becky. She’s now baking in the kitchen, and I don’t offer to help. She’s the ultimate chef.

Future: I continue to work on three to-be-published books. I’ve decided on self-publishing, so that’s a new learning process. My memoir, An Honest Caregiver: Facing the Reality of my Husband’s Dementia, and Bill’s book of retreat messages, Holiness: A Matter of Relationship, are both completed and edited. I’m waiting on front and back matter, a cover design, and endorsements. For the third work, Days of Our Lives: Devotional Booklet, I’m gradually adding devotions, some from other publications with permission. I want to include 60 devos.

So that’s what’s happening in my life. I’d like to know what’s going on in your lives. Responses will be appreciated. This season of Thanksgiving and Christmas is a great time to stay connected.

Connections

Water Tower at Asbury University, Wilmore, KY.

I named my blog Connections, because connecting with people and places is essential to my life. Recently I’ve connected with three persons from the past. One, as a young girl, was converted during my husband’s ministry at a small church in Indiana while attending graduate school. She’s now married with children. She found out about Bill and me by way of an email promoting Bill’s podcast, Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. She emailed and rehearsed her connection with us. I’m grateful.

Two of these persons are graduates from Asbury College (now University) in Wilmore, KY. They both recall hearing Dr. Coker in chapel. The first to contact me had Bill as a teacher and later he hired her on staff. We recently met for lunch and had a great time rehearsing our past history. She lives in Indiana, and we’ll keep in touch with emails. Her husband has self-published several books, and he will be a good resource if and when I go that route for upcoming projects.

The second graduate emailed me, because she had completed leading a group study on Bill’s first book, Words of Endearment: The Ten Commandments as a Revelation of God’s Love. She lives in Orlando, FL, and she sent a photo of the group having brunch for their last session of study. We have emailed several times and related more about our families.

These connections not only connect our past, but they inform us of the continued influence Asbury and its leaders had on their lives. I’m grateful for their reaching out to me and showing me again that our lives connect and keep us connected to Jesus whom we love and serve.

The photo I’ve chosen is of the water tower on the grounds of Asbury University. Hard to see, but there is a cross on top of the tower. Years ago a pilot, flying over the town, pointed out to passengers that tower with a cross was erected on a college campus. Recently the issue of displaying the cross came up for debate, and the town agreed it would keep the cross. That also is a good connection and a witness to God’s grace.

Stuck in Habits

Habits can be good or they can be bad. I have habits and routines that rule my days, and they are good for me and keep me on track. One good habit is my regular routine of going to bed around the same time and getting a good night’s sleep (about eight hours). After breakfast, I have Quiet Time (QT on my daily calendar), and it’s composed of listening to a prayer time podcast (Pray Every Day with Mary DeMuth), reading a daily devotional, reading my Bible and taking notes. Then I spend time going through Facebook, emails, and writing projects in process.

Some habits I break occasionally, and I’m told that’s okay because I’m retired. But it shows that discipline is still an issue for me. I can’t grow or advance mentally and spiritually unless I choose to follow good habits and have a worthwhile routine. Then I have bad habits I need to break.

Have you ever been stuck in mud and had trouble getting unstuck? That’s the feeling I’ve had with distractions, mainly on my phone, but also on my computer. Get ready for my confession. It’s gotten to the point of my calling this habit an addiction. That word defines it as not good for me, and more importantly, not honoring the Lord. It amounts to wasting time better spent on reading and writing, among other things (even a hobby of making greeting cards).

How did I get stuck in this habit? I slowly started watching reels on my phone, and the time expanded. Some are educational, others entertaining. Some are junk. Yet, I continue to watch. I’ve tried to develop a way out: Pause, Pray, Plan. That works, but it takes effort to start with pause, the first step. I have to get there before I can move on to pray and plan. I’d like to report that I have conquered this addiction, but that’s not true. Some helps have been applied, but it’s not fully settled yet. Basically, I trust the Holy Spirit to correct me and get me back on track. It’s a work in progress, and I do not wish to make excuses for myself. I move forward daily.

Hope for America

Top: Asbury University Revival 2023 and Bottom: Church Youth & Sponsors Serving Love Packages

My hope for America is rooted in God’s work among the youth of our nation: high schoolers, college students, young adults. I’ve noticed in recent weeks and months their commitment to follow God’s calling on their lives.

The first events were revivals on college campuses. At Asbury University, Wilmore, Kentucky, a spontaneous revival lasted several weeks and spread to other colleges across the nation. When people heard about these, they flocked to the campuses to be a part of the renewal of mind and heart. Baptisms for new believers followed.

The latest indication of God’s impact on young people came before and after the death of Charlie Kirk on September 10th of this year. This influencer connected with youth in many states, and his messages centered on what matters most: Jesus and truth. The fight continues to bring God’s truth back into our nation, communities, and churches. Turning Point USA will continue even after its founder’s death, because his wife and staff are committed to keeping the legacy growing. Jesus and the truth matter. Evil will be conquered with God’s Word.

News report from CBS on 9-5-25 — “Young people across America are searching for the truth and turning to faith in record numbers. Statistics are showing the Millennials and members of Gen Z are increasingly flocking toward faith. CBN News recently talked with politicians and faith leaders about this trend at the Kennedy Center premiere of … the new film ‘The Revival Generation.’”

Throughout our land, youth are coming on board to fight for truth. They either verbally say or put on t-shirts: “I am Charlie Kirk.” Also in the church I attend, young people unite to spread the good news of Christ and His Word found in the Bible. It’s happening where they work and play. As one student said, “Negative action doesn’t require negative reaction.” And a kindergarten teacher working with needy students reported that God has placed her there for a reason. That assurance keeps her from being discouraged.

I am encouraged about the future of America. A global impact is happening as young people stay committed to truth and follow God’s leading. This speaks loudly to me as well, for even at my age of 86, I am not finished. I still have a job to do––to speak out against wrong and for the right. I started by adopting a simple practice from Charlie Kirk: I’m turning off my phone (no social media) on Sundays. This matters because Jesus is what matters most. Join me in this fight.

Growing Old and Reputation by Bill Coker

Some stayed to sing together after a Senior luncheon at WGC.

From Bill’s 2002 journal when pastoring World Gospel Church, Terre Haute, IN:

“As I reflect on my own pilgrimage, I am overjoyed to see God shaping my life in ways that I had longed for and now am pleased to recognize. I continue to wrestle with my personal particularities but am more and more understanding and accepting those preferences and peculiarities that mark out my self. Where I am pleasing God, He must inform and convict, and the Holy Spirit work, as Jesus promised.

“My desire is to please God, walk in His will, and glorify His Name. I have dreamed of building His Temple, but like David, must accept a different role––not judging myself a failure but willingly and gladly being the best at what I am.

“I always thought that growing old would be great, for wisdom would only come by experience. While I look back on many regrets, see my numerous faults and failings, am ashamed of my sins, and could only wish that I had been better disciplined, I must say that ‘my lines have fallen in pleasant places,’ and God has been especially gracious.

“‛Never seek a reputation for being learned’ (a Kempis). Our quest is for truth, and ultimately, to know God––or as Paul wrote, ‘rather, to be known by Him.’ Paul’s testimony to the Philippians comes quickly to mind: ‘I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…that I may gain Christ…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings…’ (3:8–10, NASB).

“How much, how often, have I cared about my reputation––as though it ever mattered or was worth the cost of gaining or protecting it…. In spite of my efforts to ‘die to self,” I am still very much alive. Now I have no need for reputation, but the desire for it arises time and again to remind me of an enemy not completely subdued (though I see progress over the past 13 years). The words about Mother Teresa continue to show me the better way: ‘She is willing to be nothing; therefore God can use her to do anything.’ May the Holy Spirit cleanse my heart of every desire to be known except by God.”

Keeping Connected

Photos show two earlier ways I stayed connected with family and friends. Some kids now don’t know how to use a rotary phone, and they learned the position of keys on a computer instead of a typewriter. Years ago in Mississippi when the parsonage had a party-line connection, it was a rotary phone. And we couldn’t take the phone with us when we left the house. Now we have access to people via cell phones in our pockets. Getting in touch with someone can be easy. I’m now typing on my computer and get to style this message as I see it on the screen. I don’t have to shift to the next line; it’s done automatically with my settings. Corrections are easier also.

As you can tell I grew up with these ancient tools for the purpose of communication. Now, even though it’s easier, it’s often less frequent and messages are quickly sent and replied. The postal carrier has fewer hand-written or typed letters to deliver, because I’m getting in touch with people in more modern ways.

With all this at my fingertips, I still want to stay connected with family and friends. That’s why I named my blog “Connections” (www.abcoker.blog). It’s that important to me. It’s why I write posts on my blog and collect email subscribers and put a new post on my Facebook page. I want people to read what I write, and I want responses so I can know what’s happening in their lives. This is the age I’m living in, and it’s good.

Recently, in an attempt to get more listeners to Bill’s podcast, Words of Endearment with Bill Coker, I decided on extra promotion methods. I didn’t know it would be fun. First, I had help from a fellow writer who knows her way around podcast tools. In answer to my question, she instructed me and then encouraged me when I applied one method. It meant copy and paste, a favorite I’ve used in other ways. After I wrote about a new episode of Bill’s podcast, I copied it to my Facebook page and added the link with the icon.

Next I used my email server, Kit, wrote a broadcast, and attached the link and icon. Easy. Kit emailed this to my subscribers. What happened next was the fun part. I first heard from a former member of a church Bill pastored while he was in graduate school. She was 17 years old when we were there, and the Lord saved her after one of Bill’s sermons. She took the time to contact me and it was sheer joy. The next email came from our nephew in Louisiana. Then I received an email from a graduate of Asbury College who had gone with “Dr. Coker” to Israel with other students. When she listened to the podcast episode, she noticed the music score at the beginning and end: “And Can It Be?” Her memory connected with how they sang that Charles Wesley hymn each evening as they got ready for bed.

I’ve also received brief emails from folks, letting me know they are ready to listen to the podcast. This simple promotion has connected me with people from our past, as well as those with whom I’m currently in touch. Sometimes I have to ask for a bit more information to connect with past friends, for it’s been a while since we’ve written.

All is good! God is good! All the time! I thank God for keeping me connected in this now age.

Creator and Creations

Eight years ago Becky bought that shower curtain for my bathroom. I like it still and haven’t grown tired of it. Shades of blue on a white background. The design is of flowers, various styles. The dark and light shades of blue match the bathroom walls and rugs. When I stare at the curtain, I never ask if it were created by a machine, although mechanics contributed to its mass production. I do wonder about the person who designed it. How did she or he come up with the design repeated throughout the whole?

With all the hype about AI, I think of its meaning and impact. It’s artificial, and AI permits us to depend on something other than our own intellect. Although I’m speaking without research, I assume there is someone’s (or several someones’) intellect behind the program. But I don’t personally like its intrusion into my creative life. When I write I want it to be my work, my thoughts and words coming together to make a point. I know that what I produce can’t compare to the refined skills of other writers, but it’s the best I can do. However, I improve my craft by reading and learning from others.

When I think of creation, I first remember and give honor to the Creator––God, the mastermind of all that’s been made––for His glory and our pleasure. Just think of how the elements of earth combine to make this the correct environment to sustain life. Look at the photo above on the right: a human and an animal, that little girl and the pinguin who makes her giggle. On earth they and we have the right chemical combination to form oxygen for breathing, and we even have the force of gravity to keep us upright. God designed it all for our good.

Where does that leave my thoughts? I first praise God, the Creator of the universe and all that’s in it. Then I give thanks for all those who use their God-given creativity to design and produce something as practical as a shower curtain. Each of us is a little creator, given the joy and privilege of cooperating with God in His creation.

Value of Routine

While looking for a devotion I thought I’d written about routine, that search led me to the internet where I saw “18 Reasons Why a Daily Routine Is So Important” by Skilled on Life. While these are good, they didn’t provide the main reason for this blog post.

I make a connection here about how routine, while valuable, met with resistance when caring for Bill with dementia. He would often say, “This is the way I do it.” But it was not! Examples included wanting to wear an undershirt under his nightshirt and confusion about the time to get ready for bed (Sundowners Syndrome). I am devoted to routine, and yet it was the main thing I needed to “let go” when dealing with dementia.

Applying some of those reasons for routine, I’ll show how I prefer them and how a dementia patient might resist. I’ll not go through the whole 18 reasons, but here are a few.

“Reduce our need to plan” is one that suits me, because it’s good to know ahead of time what’s expected for the day. Often during caregiving, we used the expression “new every day.” We could not predict what one day would be, based on a previous day.

Routine “creates structure in our lives,” and that’s certainly true. But structure is out the window when dementia arrives. Each day is different, and there’s no concrete structure. It wasn’t easy to adjust, because I expected what was not to be our present situation.

Two combined: routine “instills good habits” and “breaks bad habits.” Bad habits overtook the good ones, those that the dementia person preferred in his former days. That included issues of cleanliness (not wanting to shower) and incontinence (even what’s worn to stay dry). I faced resistance not only from Bill but from myself.

“Helps reduce stress” sounds like a good goal, but that didn’t work well with my attitude toward dementia. Every day was stress-related, and a routine couldn’t help. It was the need for me to accept what came along and learn to be kind in word and deed. That’s where my relationship with God came in. I quote a prayer found on YouVersion:

“God, You reign above all! You are above all things and you hold all things together. Your name is holy, and Your words bring life and healing. You make known to me the paths that lead to life! All glory, honor, power, and praise belong to You alone! In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

P.S. If you’re interested in knowing more about all 18 reasons for the value of routine, go online for Skilled on Life. I list them here, but they are expanded on the website.

Makes Us More Efficient
Reduces Our Need to Plan
Creates Structure in Our Lives
Saves Time, Our Most Valuable Resource
Instills Good Habits
Breaks Bad Habits
Helps Us Become More Proficient
Helps Us Get the Most Important Tasks Done
Prioritization
Reduces the Need for Determination and Willpower
Reduces Procrastination
Builds Momentum
Builds Self-Confidence
Saves Us Money
Helps Reduce Stress and Facilitate Relaxation
Frees Up Our Time
Helps Us Achieve Our Goals
Keeping Track of Our Success

I’m Ready; Now Wait

Things get rusty with time and moisture.

Hugging my knees, I sat on the front steps of our house built on twelve acres. Red cedar banisters framed the concrete and brick porch. Fresh mulch, wet by an early shower, darkened the newly turned soil. The flower bed between two maple trees was readied, and I awaited a gift of hostas from my friend’s garden. We would plant one more page in our dream home.

When something is ready, what usually follows is a time of waiting. For me, that’s the difficult part. As with my writing, when one piece or manuscript is ready, I want to move on. As with my memoir about caregiving, I’ve written and am satisfied it’s finished. But the work toward publication adds to the process. I’m sending submissions to literary agents, for once again I’d like to try and secure traditional publishing. Memoir is not easy for that route, unless the author is famous. Definitely not me. I think my memoir is unique in its honest approach of how I tended to caring for Bill during his dementia. How do I convince someone it’s worth publishing and it will attract an audience beyond my friends?

So I wait to hear back from agents if they want to pursue a publisher for my memoir. The agent first has to be convinced in order to convince a publisher. One drawback of waiting is that things get rusty, but they also need moisture. In my case, it’s how I use the waiting time. I could add sweat and tears, but that would not get me an answer. How vulnerable should I be in presenting my case for publication? I definitely don’t have the name, and my platform needs work, but I’m more filled with self-doubt over the craft of writing. Is it truly worthy of publication for a wider readership? Will it sell? That’s what an agent and a publisher are looking for. It amounts to their educated and reliable consideration. If it doesn’t meet approval, I will again go the route of self-publishing. This time I might even try it myself instead of my favorite hybrid publisher. I have to consider the $ cost.

While waiting upon a response from the right agent, I can work on my next projects: Bill’s book on holiness and articles already started for magazines. Waiting can be rewarding if I put my mind and effort into it. A good reward is what’s waiting in this business of publication.

P.S. If you are an interested buyer for An Honest Caregiver when published, please send me your email address. al2.coker@gmail.com Thanks.