Author: aflcoker

Latest bookcase and still not enough room.

Books are in our lifeblood. As children we loved books, and now we still add more books to the limited amount of shelves we have.

When we moved from our home in Terre Haute to buy a home with our daughter and her husband in Indianapolis, we had to make decisions about what to disperse, get rid of, and bring with us to the East Wing apartment of our new home. The hardest decision made involved the books in Bill’s library. We knew he would not read them again, but this had been his life. He spent lots of money on books as they compiled his research library. I recall one person asking if he had read all those books. His reply: “I’ve read some of them twice.” True, but a partial to the actual answer that he had not read them all.

So before our move, we gave books first to our son Bill, Jr., a Nazarene pastor, who could best use his dad’s books. Then pastor friends, along with a few homeschool moms, chose some books. What and who next would benefit? Other family members and friends. Now down to the hardest distribution: what was left.

Our son John helped me make other distribution decisions as we packed. When he would ask about an item, I would give its history and who gave it to us. John then asked: Can you give me an answer in less than 24 words? All he truly wanted was a yes or no as to whether or not I had to keep it. The books and their value, again as I said, made decisions harder. The last distribution went to Salvation Army and Good Will. Oh, I still get a lump in my throat as I think of it.

Why? Because books, as I said, were in our lifeblood. Bill’s books especially were his life. And what became evident later is that when I started compiling and editing Bill’s sermons for publication, I wanted some of those books back. I could not ask Bill about a reference, and I knew his books would help. But we no longer possess them. I did rely on Bill, Jr. to look up some references, and I went to the library for others. But the original reference – Bill’s books and his remembrance – are no longer available.

This is not a sob story, but only facing facts. The lack of bookcases won’t stop me from buying books, even if I don’t have space to shelve more.

Bill likes to “go somewhere,” and we have taken short trips to Southeast Park not far from our house. I went up on the path while he stayed behind to ponder.

In the latest book I’ve read on dementia, Loving Someone Who Has Dementia, the author Pauline Boss, PhD, introduced her readers to a term she coined to describe dementia: “ambiguous loss.” Its meaning captures the essence of how caregivers think about their loved ones with dementia. That person is here but not here, present but absent. What’s gone is the psychological person and what’s left is the physical person. The loved one is still real but something is missing. What we knew as a whole person with personality, talents, educational traits, and abilities is no longer here. Logic and understanding are gone along with issues related to health and stability.

As a wife and caregiver, I embrace Boss’s term of ambiguous loss. Bill is still the man I love but not the man I’d known for over 60 years. The last six years of our marriage have challenged me to accept Bill as who he is now, what I’ve been given. And that gift, my husband Bill, is from the Lord, both then and now. I’m thankful that God has trusted me to care – in ways that I had not planned nor wanted. It’s not like I have a new husband, like a second marriage. It’s more like I’m getting to know the man I married in a new and changing-every-day way.

I’m also getting to know myself in a deeper and more insightful way. It’s how I respond and react to Bill that turns the corner on who I truly am inside. That’s the thrust of the memoir I’m slowly writing – what Bill’s dementia has taught me about myself. Most of this is because I am  learning to react to the disease and not to Bill. He is not to blame for his dementia. He did not ask for it, and nothing he did caused it. The dementia, the disease, is the culprit.

Alongside ambiguous loss is a related grief. For when we lose someone by death, we grieve, and people accept that as normal. But with a loved one’s dementia, the losses come gradually, and we want to move on. Closure, however, is a myth. We must grieve each loss while we wait for another. We must accept grief now as well as later. And that is a natural process.

If all this sounds negative, it is not. The positive outlook is hopeful. Grace is given daily and hope is around the corner for us who believe in eternal life. So I end with: Praise Jesus.

I accepted an invitation to be a guest on the Jack and John podcast. Oh my, I didn’t expect that, even though I asked for it. I couldn’t refuse this from a fellow writer friend, John Walker, head of our local writers group. I had sent John my request to be a guest, and surprise: he wrote back with an invite.

It all started with a mentoring session with Chad Allen, CEO of BookCamp. Chad answered my question about how differently to market Bill’s books –– now that they have been in print for one to three years. Chad suggested I could be a guest on a podcast. I resisted that option. But he asked if I knew someone who has a podcast. Well yes, the Jack and John podcast: Adventures in Faith. We left it at that.

Why I hesitated? Two reasons and both have to do with voice. I used to speak in public and lead Bible studies, but that’s in the past. Also, my voice is now weak.

So I thought the least I could do is send an email to John and ask. He would probably not take me up on the offer and I’d be off the hook. But his reply was not only positive, he said it was “great” and gave me some dates to consider. I chose one, and found out I would have to go to Mooresville for the recording session. I don’t drive on Interstates anymore, and Becky and Paul would be out of town on that date. Perhaps that was my way out. But I asked a couple in our Sunday school class, Glenn and Pam, and they agreed. After I told them to let me know if anything else comes up, Pam said it would be on their calendar and nothing would prevent them from driving Bill and me to the podcast recording. Okay, here we go.

Getting ready began with forming questions for John and Jack to ask me. The object of the guest appearance dealt with promoting Bill’s books and podcast. So I wrote questions about how the process of publication took place and then introduced the four books. I sent the questions to John, and he replied this would be a “template” ­­–– meaning they would add their own. Uh oh.

When Glenn, Bill, and I arrived at the church for the recording, I found out it would also be available on YouTube. Visual was not what I expected, but my outfit was appropriate. Their added questions centered mostly on my caregiving and our conversion experiences. At least I could connect listeners with my memoir as a caregiver, and the testimonies for both Bill and me did not throw me off. I had heard Bill tell his conversion experience many times –– that God called him to preach before he was saved at Indian Springs Campmeeting.

Preparation helped me feel comfortable with my answers and their questions. After listening to the recording, I had only one complaint. The tone of my voice is a monotone. No spark. In case you want to hear the podcast, it will be released on Saturday 15 April at 9 AM. How you get there is to open any server for podcasts and look for the podcast Jack and John: Adventures in Faith.

I close with a quote from Todd Henry in his book Daily Creative. “Put yourself in situations where you are a little nervous about your ability to perform…. Without challenge, you will begin to feel stuck.” So I said yes to being a guest on a podcast.

Reported by Mayor Harold Rainwater, Wilmore, Kentucky

Fifty-three years ago on February 3^rd, no one came to the Dine A Mite after Asbury College’s chapel hour. My family operated The Dixie Restaurant on Main Street and the Dine A Mite next door to Hughes. One of our traditions at Dine A Mite was serving a large crowd just after chapel, coming for our hot honey buns and coffee or orange juice for $1.00. On February 3, 1970 we had the entire front counter covered with hot honey buns, but chapel didn’t end on time. The amazing life-changing 1970 Revival had started.

February 8, 2023 Chapel service at Asbury University began and then the Holy Spirit took over and Revival continued. I can’t say “until now,” because that sounds like it’s stopped. While chapel service is over, revival spreads. I share two photos from the many posted on social media. First Photo: 1^st Week during 2023 Asbury Revival

Two weeks later: People waiting to enter Hughes Auditorium, Asbury University

Yes, Bill and I were in Wilmore and experienced the 1970 Revival. That February Bill was completing his last year teaching at Asbury Theological Seminary before he would move to teach at Asbury College (University). The staff and students at ATS heard something extraordinary was happening at the college, so Bill and others walked across the street to see for themselves. When Bill came home for supper he told me he intended to sit an hour to observe, but when he decided to leave he noticed about three hours had passed. Extraordinary yes, but supernatural was more like it. This was a Spirit-led, unplanned revival.

That Sunday morning in 1970, local churches moved their services to Hughes Auditorium on Asbury’s campus. That’s when our family of six attended and sat in the balcony. My most memorable moment focused on Helen Seamands who gave her testimony of being dry in her spirit and how Jesus came to reside, change, and move her to be radically honest.

Later I found out what happened behind the scenes on campus. Jeannine Brabon and other students, moved with concern over various students, formed a prayer team. This went on for several weeks, as I recall. On that February 3^rd 1970 Chapel Service, when Custer Reynolds asked if anyone wanted to come to the altar and pray, several of those prayed-for students come forward and then went to the mike to share their testimonies. Sparked by the Holy Spirit, other students came forward, prayed, testified, and chapel time did not close for days. President Dennis Kinlaw, out of town, received a phone call from a staff member, and he approved of their decision to let chapel continue and classes to be optional.

How different or similar is the 2023 Asbury Revival can be described by the many who were there in the original hour and by those who traveled to join in the experience. I did not go, and I am satisfied to know that revival can happen wherever a person is knee-bent to welcome the Holy Spirit’s work in a life submitted. I’ve spent hours online viewing, listening, and reading about the 2023 revival. Learning how it’s spreading across the nation and around the world convinces me that God is still at work to redeem and sanctify His people. Revival begins with Christians. I’m ready. Are you?

Wintry Sunrise

A while back (can’t find date) I wrote a blog post on “New Beginnings,” and I need that newness now. If you’ve been following my blog, the last post was December 4^th of last year. So I’m almost two months in dept to you. More than that if I had kept the promise to myself to write blog posts twice a month.

Now with a new year (in two days it will be February) and broken resolutions already (anyone sympathetic?), I want to blame my slow beginning on winter. You see, our bedroom is on the east side of the house: it’s why I call our apartment the East Wing. In winter the sun doesn’t wake me up until after eight or nine o’clock. That means breakfast is between nine and ten and lunch gets shoved to two or three in the afternoon. How’s that for laziness? But our supper is traditionally around seven p.m. (Aunt Bee’s schedule), so it all works out with about four hours between meals. That suits everyone in the household except Bill. He still likes his meals on time, according to the clock. He points and reminds me it’s either noon or six p.m.

You may correct me and say most people don’t regulate their getting-up-time according to sunrise, for they have either to be at work or attend to other duties such as children’s schedules. But you know Bill and I are in our eighties and have been retired for quite some time. So am I blaming my laziness on winter sunrise or have I adopted my schedule as an acceptable age thing? Either way, it’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Once I’m at my desk in the morning―whether that’s at nine or eleven a.m.―I start with listening to Mary DeMuth’s podcast Pray Every Day and then I read my Bible. I’ve bought a journal-style NLT Bible, published  by Hosanna Revival. Not that I needed another Bible, but I wanted a new translation and one that welcomes journaling. I read from five books in the morning and one before bedtime. I can keep up with these for they are in different genres: devotions, writing, memoir and biography. It’s just the way my mind works. Anyone agree?

I’ve completed my assignment to write a blog post today and it was after chasing a runaway period. I’ll explain as best I can. After accidently put a period in the title, that period kept running across the page whenever I tried to type another letter. I cannot explain why, nor how it happened to stop. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Our Christmas tree claims over 1200 lights along with various ornaments made by the kids or bought from vacation spots. I’m wondering why we light up our corners of the world with bright colorful lights around this time of year, getting ready for Christmas in “the bleak mid-winter.” That’s part of the answer. We do not like the dark and gloomy winter so we add lights to ward off our feelings of gloom and shadowy dimness of mind.

Weeks before Christmas, as soon after Thanksgiving as allowed, we get out the boxes of decorations and start changing our settings. At our house we take away the usual decor on table tops and replace them with delightful, stored-away Christmas-themed decorations. Our daughter and her husband have found a good way to make the exchange. We place the usual items in the empty boxes until after Epiphany and exchange them when we store away the Christmas decorations.

Becky and Paul start with putting lights on the Christmas tree. This year they started with all white lights and I thought they had finished. No. Then they hung strings of colored lights. Next Becky got into the carefully stored ornaments and finished decorating the tree while Paul went outside to spruce up the setting for those who drive by. He strung red and white lights around the two columns like peppermint sticks. Then he added various colored lights on bushes, hung a star in a tall tree, and brought out his favorite, a small Christmas tree he had bought for very little a couple of years ago. His lights on the tree and bushes and columns are all on a timed switch to turn on and off. Oh yes, last year we bought a stand-up plastic board Nativity scene and Paul places a spotlight on that. 

Everything is well lit―the outdoors, the Christmas trees, outside and inside, the mangers and village on the sofa table against the wall, along with lit décor in other places. Lights! And have we exhausted the reasons? No. For behind all these lighted decorations, we celebrate the birth of the Christ child. Consider the Son of God as the Light of the world who came to bring life to all. He is the eternal Light who shines in our dark world.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12, ESV). Light up your rooms and your heart and bring that Light into the world. Merry Christmas.

A page from “Pumpkin & Spice” coloring book. Coloring makes me a better writer.

With Thanksgiving Day around the corner (11 days from today), it would be a personal blessing to count blessings we encounter every day. I’ll list and comment on some of mine and you can take time to count yours. I’d like you to send me your list, at least part of it, for we can’t count them all. God’s blessings are numerous and almost minute by moment.

Leaving the house one day in our Volvo, I thought of items for which I’m thankful. I’m grateful that Bill no longer resists buckling his seat belt. Our Volvo is a first-rate blessing, for our son John picked it out for us and we bought it two years ago on Memorial Day. The kids advised it was time for a trade-in. Grateful for their input.

As I drove by the front lawn, I’m not the only one who notices how Paul keeps up the yard work. People stop to tell him almost weekly how nice it looks. Next I started listing our many conveniences I too often take for granted: pure water and ice. a good set of washer and dryer for my Friday laundry day, and enough room in our apartment to feel comfortable and do my work at the computer. That is another luxury I depend upon when technology works well for my projects, such as getting Bill’s messages published and connecting with family and friends.

Yes, our family is a huge blessing. “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord.” And “The Lord has done great things for us” (Psalm 127:3; 126:3, NASB). Along with the gift of children are their spouses, our parents, siblings, cousins, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Have I missed anyone? I love connecting with them via tech devices.

Speaking of technology, I’m grateful for the publishing world and the expert staff who have helped me with Bill’s four books. Then there’s Bill’s blogpost, and that would not have started without Becky’s encouragement, saying people would love to hear her dad preach again (even if those sermons are from the past). Our team who make this possible are top-notch: Erik who does the scheduling and programming, Michael who mixes the components for each episode, and Dan who reads the intros and outros. What a big blessing! Listen to Words of Endearment with Bill Coker.

At the top of the list are spiritual and personal blessings from God my Father, Jesus my Savior, and the Holy Spirit who dwells within me. The Word of God is my foundation for growth and prayer is my connection, knowing that God hears and answers.

Each one of you who receives these blog posts and reads them is a blessing beyond compare. Thank you. Have a Happy Thanksgiving with family and friends. I send love and prayers, Ann

Thinking over 65 years of marriage, I have to be grateful, actually I’m amazed about that number. Wow! is all I’ve heard when I tell people how long we’ve been married. Let’s look at that number more closely: 65 is a big number in itself and then I add years alongside it. It means I multiply 365 days times 65 and I have a total of 23,725. That’s a bigger number, but there are 24 hours in each day and I have to add 60 minutes within each hour. I’m not even going to run those numbers through my little calculator. Within each minute is a moment and it’s those moments that count. Living in the moment has special meaning. “We have this moment.”

How did Bill and I get through all those moments, hours, years together. It’s basic. The answer is our covenant relationship. A covenant is an agreed promise between parties, and often referred to as a signed contract. We sealed that covenant during our wedding ceremony on August 24, 1957 and knew not all we were getting into. But the covenant stuck and is still responsible for our commitment of love and loyalty.

What made me think more about these 65 years is our more recent years together. In 2010 Bill contracted Legionnaire’s disease. It’s a rare form of pneumonia, a lung disease. I learned then that oxygen feeds every cell in your body. So that means if you lack oxygen, every part of your body is affected. Among other things, the lack of oxygen affected Bill’s brain, and that accelerated a progression of dementia. Legionnaire’s disease did not cause Bill’s dementia disease, now diagnosed as Alzheimer’s disease, but it sped the process. Dementia is a disease and not everyone gets it as they age. Many of us go through the process of forgetfulness as we age, but that is not the disease of dementia, of which Alzheimer’s is a type. During Bill’s dementia, I’ve learned a lot about the disease and much about myself. That’s why I’m writing a memoir – to recite what I’ve learned about myself during Bill’s journey through dementia.

Now back to that number of 65. In the last twelve years we have experienced (endured) significant changes, but our love, while it’s been affected by those changes, is still strong because of the foundation of the covenant we made back in 1957. Our covenant is binding and with no intention or thought of breaking it. While Bill’s memory decreases almost daily, while I adjust to changes in routine, and while I miss being able to carry on a conversation that interacts with his intellect and logic, our love is evident. I can count on him to pucker his lips for a kiss and say, I love you. And that’s not all. Praise Jesus!

I like to journal, and it’s more like reflections about what I’m reading. So browsing in Red Dog Bookstore in Indy, I found a journal that intrigued me. On each page is a quote from someone famous and a question or imperative to answer. I decided to try it. I bought the journal in March of last year and I’m about two weeks away from finishing. I write one page a day, and some questions are not easy. This blog post is an experiment combining two books: the Be Inspired journal and How to Write Short by Roy Peter Clark. I’ve picked three pages from the journal on the same topic: Bill’s podcast. I’ll apply Clark’s techniques. What you see below is the final product of learning from Clark how to write short. Posting the originals from the journals would make this blog post too long. (I cut 56 words out of three journal pages.)

Q. Write about a new door open to you. Why was it important? Who or what motivates you?

A new door recently opened and I felt unqualified to pursue it―a podcast for Bill’s sermons. Becky was the instigator and moving force. She knew it could happen and would be appreciated by people who love her dad’s preaching. The first person on board was my grandson Michael in California who could convert tapes into digital format and mix ingredients for episodes. He also created art for the app. Asking others to join the team didn’t prove a problem. Erik lives here in Indy and has great tech skills and equipment; he’s also a super organizer. He agreed to handle connections with Michael and Buzzsprout for the downloads. In addition, Erik records Dan reading the intros and outros. Dan’s voice drew us to select him as host, excited to be part of the project. I choose the sermons and help write the scripts. Becky continues to be our encourager.

In an early phone chat with Erik, I saw this as a bigger project than first imagined. It’s more than getting people involved who understand the technology and agree to help. It involves schedules, planning, and questions to answer—when to post the first episode, which sermon, and on what day. I now look at longtime commitment and those involved, their time and expense, even a legal aspect. All this adds to the true motivation: to get Bill’s messages out for people to hear. A podcast, a good idea with good reason, but also work.

At first I was not sure the podcast could be done, but when people came alongside that had the needed skills and willingness, it’s no surprise we are now in the 22^st week with episodes being  downloaded every Wednesday. Bill and I listen together and it’s a joy to see his face and hear him say, “I liked that.” He usually refers to when he preached that message. And we receive comments of affirmation from folks about how they appreciate hearing Bill preach.

by Ann and Bill Coker

Many a Christmas card has a picture of a church

“Suppose the apostle Paul had been asked, ‘What is central to your life?’ Paul would definitely have answered this question with a person: Jesus Christ. In fact, he began his first letter to the Corinthians with an emphasis on Christ being central in the church, before getting to his reasons for writing. You’ll notice the early church exhibited a great deal of difficulty, for he wrote of divisions, mentioning the quarreling among them. Before addressing these difficulties, Paul emphasized Christ being central.”

This is the first paragraph in the first chapter of Bill’s upcoming book: Let The Church Be The Church. As you can tell, the church is important to Bill and me – and to most Christians. And the central focus of the church is Jesus Christ. The church is (or should be) the place where we learn about Christ and how to follow and serve Him.

So what does the church mean to you? How important a place is it in your life? What impact has it played in your Christian growth and what people in the local church have influenced you for good? I recall a Sunday school teacher for junior high youth. Several times a year she gave an invitation for anyone to stay behind at the end of her class. Her purpose was to instruct us about a commitment to follow Jesus, to receive salvation. What also stands out in my memory is that her son did not join the church (with the usual group) until after he had made a commitment to Jesus. That impressed me, for I joined the church and then later I accepted Christ as my Savior.

I remember only one Sunday as a kid when I didn’t want to go to church. Don’t recall the reason, but I played sick while the rest of my family attended church. I was miserable; it was no fun missing Sunday school and worship service. Of course, you know that church has been vital to our family and ministry.

Bill’s new book – to be released at the end of this year – speaks to the church about the church. This is not a series, preached consecutive Sundays, but a collection of eleven messages over several years, all  delivered at World Gospel Church, but some repeated elsewhere. Bill examines the components of a dynamic church and the body of Christ taking shape. He ends with a building plan for the church, one without walls, heat, or air conditioning.