Excerpts from Bill’s journal – spring and summer of 2002.
May God forgive me for grieving over losses rather than rejoicing that He is always at work in every situation for good. He never abandons us to circumstances—life’s dark valleys or those who stand against us. Somehow, my preaching must always bring this joyous truth to those who are hearing. I remember Dr. Robertson’s words in the seminary class on preaching: always end every sermon with the good news. This is Gospel preaching.
The idea of “centering” takes on greater meaning and significance as I understand more what it is to pray and what it is to develop spiritually and be truly sanctified. The clean heart is not only purified; it is unified, no longer ”a heart and a heart,” but whole and in union with God and reality.
Evelyn Underhill writes that recollection brings one’s attention under the control of the will. Here is the first step in meditation, which she refers to as “the halfway house between thinking and contemplation.” To focus on one thing until multiplicity merges into unity. This morning I’ve tried to focus on “the holy,” the central idea for this Sunday’s sermon (“The Hallowing Spirit”). Only with consistent and dedicated practice will I begin to learn how to meditate.
I should not be concerned with trusting my present feeling, for it will change. What matters is whether one’s whole intention is conducive to one’s proper and desired end. The eye of one’s intention, therefore, must be cleansed so that it is single and right.
One theme I have noted repeatedly over the years is integrity. That’s blamelessness, purity, and holiness throughout Scripture. The key is, as à Kempis noted, that the eye of intention must be cleansed of self-interest, a thing impossible even to think, except for the grace of God. Kierkegaard was right: purity of heart is to will one will, and Wesley’s language, that of perfect love, is descriptive of the same truth.
I think of Micah’s oft-quoted passage: “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (6:8). In Micah’s statement, the same concept of “single intention” can easily be seen. Sometimes I wonder whether my spiritual life is being critiqued more based on what others say I should do than on my being led by the Spirit. At the same time, I am aware of the danger of rationalizing my inadequacies. May God be my judge.
Ann Coker 