Growing Old and Reputation by Bill Coker

Some stayed to sing together after a Senior luncheon at WGC.

From Bill’s 2002 journal when pastoring World Gospel Church, Terre Haute, IN:

“As I reflect on my own pilgrimage, I am overjoyed to see God shaping my life in ways that I had longed for and now am pleased to recognize. I continue to wrestle with my personal particularities but am more and more understanding and accepting those preferences and peculiarities that mark out my self. Where I am pleasing God, He must inform and convict, and the Holy Spirit work, as Jesus promised.

“My desire is to please God, walk in His will, and glorify His Name. I have dreamed of building His Temple, but like David, must accept a different role––not judging myself a failure but willingly and gladly being the best at what I am.

“I always thought that growing old would be great, for wisdom would only come by experience. While I look back on many regrets, see my numerous faults and failings, am ashamed of my sins, and could only wish that I had been better disciplined, I must say that ‘my lines have fallen in pleasant places,’ and God has been especially gracious.

“‛Never seek a reputation for being learned’ (a Kempis). Our quest is for truth, and ultimately, to know God––or as Paul wrote, ‘rather, to be known by Him.’ Paul’s testimony to the Philippians comes quickly to mind: ‘I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…that I may gain Christ…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings…’ (3:8–10, NASB).

“How much, how often, have I cared about my reputation––as though it ever mattered or was worth the cost of gaining or protecting it…. In spite of my efforts to ‘die to self,” I am still very much alive. Now I have no need for reputation, but the desire for it arises time and again to remind me of an enemy not completely subdued (though I see progress over the past 13 years). The words about Mother Teresa continue to show me the better way: ‘She is willing to be nothing; therefore God can use her to do anything.’ May the Holy Spirit cleanse my heart of every desire to be known except by God.”                                                                                                                        

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aflcoker

I love the Lord. To those I love I am wife, mother, granny, great-granny. To my corner of the world I am a writer.

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