Process of Processing


Process can be either a noun or a verb. My shortened version of Webster’s definitions: as a noun, it’s the activity itself, and as a verb, it’s doing that activity. Used in a sentence: I will process that when I understand the process.

Why is this on my mind? Actually (pronounced as Lou Ann Poovey, Gomer Pyle’s girlfriend, does), I’m trying to accept how Bill does and doesn’t process things.

I want him to wear his hearing aids in the house, but he doesn’t want to. (If I had to wear hearing aids, I’d probably not like them either.) My desire is for Bill to interact in our conversations. Yet to do so would take more effort to process what’s being said.

Recently we had a friend visit for Sunday dinner. He told us about when Pastor Bill and the church helped him make a trip home after being in the States for five years. I repeated the story so Bill could hear it, and he smiled, but I’m not sure he processed the information. That part of his brain is not functioning well enough to make the process quickly.

As another friend reminded me: “Not wearing his hearing aids means he doesn’t have to try to process what he doesn’t understand.” The lack of connection is as hard for Bill as it is for us all.

I love Bill as he is. Bill is still Bill behind the dementia. I can’t wish for what he was. He is valued now and loved. And he knows how blessed he is, for every one of his prayers is filled with gratitude. He is blessed at his very core.

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I love the Lord. To those I love I am wife, mother, granny, great-granny. To my corner of the world I am a writer.

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