Tag: mental-health

Distractions as Entertainment

My rotary (home) phone did not cause me to be distracted with various posts, for its use was only for connections: to and from family and friends. But social media on my cell phone has wasted my time. The trouble is not with the phone but with me.

I’ve made many vows to control time with distractions on my phone, but I’ve broken those vows too numerous to count. I do attribute some time to mere entertainment coming from that convenient device in my hand. But time passes, and useful skills, such as my writing, diminish.

Recently, another avenue of distraction has caused me to waste time, but I rationalize its benefits. Surprisingly, it’s a new nightgown. I bought it because I needed winter sleepwear. My fascination is with its design: on a white background are cardinals, red berries, and grey twigs. The fabric is recycled polyester, but with the feel of velveteen. Some cardinals are slender and others are robust; all have black around the white eye, a red top-knot, and a faint yellow beak. The berries vary in number alongside the grey twigs and leaves – one, two, or three.

As I said, I look at this gown with fascination, noticing the variations. They remind me of my hobbies of coloring books and crossword puzzles. One connects with colors and the other with words to adequately describe what I see. So, I rationalize away this time, not as wasted but productive. I only post this about myself, for perhaps I’m not the only one who deals with distractions and wasted time on a phone (and a nightgown’s design ;-). Should all of life be serious without entertainment? But too much of a good thing can be wasteful. Do you agree?

Value of Routine

While looking for a devotion I thought I’d written about routine, that search led me to the internet where I saw “18 Reasons Why a Daily Routine Is So Important” by Skilled on Life. While these are good, they didn’t provide the main reason for this blog post.

I make a connection here about how routine, while valuable, met with resistance when caring for Bill with dementia. He would often say, “This is the way I do it.” But it was not! Examples included wanting to wear an undershirt under his nightshirt and confusion about the time to get ready for bed (Sundowners Syndrome). I am devoted to routine, and yet it was the main thing I needed to “let go” when dealing with dementia.

Applying some of those reasons for routine, I’ll show how I prefer them and how a dementia patient might resist. I’ll not go through the whole 18 reasons, but here are a few.

“Reduce our need to plan” is one that suits me, because it’s good to know ahead of time what’s expected for the day. Often during caregiving, we used the expression “new every day.” We could not predict what one day would be, based on a previous day.

Routine “creates structure in our lives,” and that’s certainly true. But structure is out the window when dementia arrives. Each day is different, and there’s no concrete structure. It wasn’t easy to adjust, because I expected what was not to be our present situation.

Two combined: routine “instills good habits” and “breaks bad habits.” Bad habits overtook the good ones, those that the dementia person preferred in his former days. That included issues of cleanliness (not wanting to shower) and incontinence (even what’s worn to stay dry). I faced resistance not only from Bill but from myself.

“Helps reduce stress” sounds like a good goal, but that didn’t work well with my attitude toward dementia. Every day was stress-related, and a routine couldn’t help. It was the need for me to accept what came along and learn to be kind in word and deed. That’s where my relationship with God came in. I quote a prayer found on YouVersion:

“God, You reign above all! You are above all things and you hold all things together. Your name is holy, and Your words bring life and healing. You make known to me the paths that lead to life! All glory, honor, power, and praise belong to You alone! In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

P.S. If you’re interested in knowing more about all 18 reasons for the value of routine, go online for Skilled on Life. I list them here, but they are expanded on the website.

  1. Makes Us More Efficient
  2. Reduces Our Need to Plan
  3. Creates Structure in Our Lives
  4. Saves Time, Our Most Valuable Resource
  5. Instills Good Habits
  6. Breaks Bad Habits
  7. Helps Us Become More Proficient
  8. Helps Us Get the Most Important Tasks Done
  9. Prioritization
  10. Reduces the Need for Determination and Willpower
  11. Reduces Procrastination
  12. Builds Momentum
  13. Builds Self-Confidence
  14. Saves Us Money
  15. Helps Reduce Stress and Facilitate Relaxation
  16. Frees Up Our Time
  17. Helps Us Achieve Our Goals
  18. Keeping Track of Our Success