Tag: lifestyle

Value of Routine

While looking for a devotion I thought I’d written about routine, that search led me to the internet where I saw “18 Reasons Why a Daily Routine Is So Important” by Skilled on Life. While these are good, they didn’t provide the main reason for this blog post.

I make a connection here about how routine, while valuable, met with resistance when caring for Bill with dementia. He would often say, “This is the way I do it.” But it was not! Examples included wanting to wear an undershirt under his nightshirt and confusion about the time to get ready for bed (Sundowners Syndrome). I am devoted to routine, and yet it was the main thing I needed to “let go” when dealing with dementia.

Applying some of those reasons for routine, I’ll show how I prefer them and how a dementia patient might resist. I’ll not go through the whole 18 reasons, but here are a few.

“Reduce our need to plan” is one that suits me, because it’s good to know ahead of time what’s expected for the day. Often during caregiving, we used the expression “new every day.” We could not predict what one day would be, based on a previous day.

Routine “creates structure in our lives,” and that’s certainly true. But structure is out the window when dementia arrives. Each day is different, and there’s no concrete structure. It wasn’t easy to adjust, because I expected what was not to be our present situation.

Two combined: routine “instills good habits” and “breaks bad habits.” Bad habits overtook the good ones, those that the dementia person preferred in his former days. That included issues of cleanliness (not wanting to shower) and incontinence (even what’s worn to stay dry). I faced resistance not only from Bill but from myself.

“Helps reduce stress” sounds like a good goal, but that didn’t work well with my attitude toward dementia. Every day was stress-related, and a routine couldn’t help. It was the need for me to accept what came along and learn to be kind in word and deed. That’s where my relationship with God came in. I quote a prayer found on YouVersion:

“God, You reign above all! You are above all things and you hold all things together. Your name is holy, and Your words bring life and healing. You make known to me the paths that lead to life! All glory, honor, power, and praise belong to You alone! In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

P.S. If you’re interested in knowing more about all 18 reasons for the value of routine, go online for Skilled on Life. I list them here, but they are expanded on the website.

  1. Makes Us More Efficient
  2. Reduces Our Need to Plan
  3. Creates Structure in Our Lives
  4. Saves Time, Our Most Valuable Resource
  5. Instills Good Habits
  6. Breaks Bad Habits
  7. Helps Us Become More Proficient
  8. Helps Us Get the Most Important Tasks Done
  9. Prioritization
  10. Reduces the Need for Determination and Willpower
  11. Reduces Procrastination
  12. Builds Momentum
  13. Builds Self-Confidence
  14. Saves Us Money
  15. Helps Reduce Stress and Facilitate Relaxation
  16. Frees Up Our Time
  17. Helps Us Achieve Our Goals
  18. Keeping Track of Our Success

Decorating for Christmas

Manger Collection from Jerusalem (plus)

Thanksgiving Day is sacred for the Gearhart family. We do not even listen to Christmas carols before that special day, nor do we start the Hallmark Christmas specials. But the day after: it’s an active time of getting the Christmas decorations out of storage. Paul is the one who distributes the totes to the appropriate rooms, and he untangles the cords of lights and even decorates the outside with lights, a manger scene, and a small tree he proudly found a few years ago. In the family room a lounge chair is moved to the sunporch and an artificial tree stands in that corner space. Becky starts to hang ornaments after she helps Paul strings the lights. Many of the ornaments have been handmade by family members. On the oblong sofa table Becky arranges her manger collection on the upper level. It’s quite a variety––from porcelain-like figures to a handmade Peanuts manger scene. Their cardboard village adorns the lower shelf amid cotton-ball snow.

I get to unpack our tote and put up our manger collection, mostly gifts from friends. Our favorite is made from olive wood, the one Bill bought in Jerusalem many years ago. We also have a wooden Christmas tree with lights that Paul handcrafted for us long before we moved to Indy.

One useful practice is of replacement value. As we move the year-round décor from tables, we pack those items in the emptied totes, ready to display after Epiphany on January 6th. And the next day is Becky’s birthday.

I close with this question: Why decorate if family will not be gathering on Christmas Day? Do the decorations count if only viewed by those who live in our home?

My answer is Yes! Decorations at Christmas seek to focus our attention on God’s greatest gift: Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, lived on our earth, died for our sins, risen to grant us new life.

The last verse of “O Holy Night” exclaims:

Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!