Tag: habits

Stuck in Habits

Habits can be good or they can be bad. I have habits and routines that rule my days, and they are good for me and keep me on track. One good habit is my regular routine of going to bed around the same time and getting a good night’s sleep (about eight hours). After breakfast, I have Quiet Time (QT on my daily calendar), and it’s composed of listening to a prayer time podcast (Pray Every Day with Mary DeMuth), reading a daily devotional, reading my Bible and taking notes. Then I spend time going through Facebook, emails, and writing projects in process.

Some habits I break occasionally, and I’m told that’s okay because I’m retired. But it shows that discipline is still an issue for me. I can’t grow or advance mentally and spiritually unless I choose to follow good habits and have a worthwhile routine. Then I have bad habits I need to break.

Have you ever been stuck in mud and had trouble getting unstuck? That’s the feeling I’ve had with distractions, mainly on my phone, but also on my computer. Get ready for my confession. It’s gotten to the point of my calling this habit an addiction. That word defines it as not good for me, and more importantly, not honoring the Lord. It amounts to wasting time better spent on reading and writing, among other things (even a hobby of making greeting cards).

How did I get stuck in this habit? I slowly started watching reels on my phone, and the time expanded. Some are educational, others entertaining. Some are junk. Yet, I continue to watch. I’ve tried to develop a way out: Pause, Pray, Plan. That works, but it takes effort to start with pause, the first step. I have to get there before I can move on to pray and plan. I’d like to report that I have conquered this addiction, but that’s not true. Some helps have been applied, but it’s not fully settled yet. Basically, I trust the Holy Spirit to correct me and get me back on track. It’s a work in progress, and I do not wish to make excuses for myself. I move forward daily.

Value of Routine

While looking for a devotion I thought I’d written about routine, that search led me to the internet where I saw “18 Reasons Why a Daily Routine Is So Important” by Skilled on Life. While these are good, they didn’t provide the main reason for this blog post.

I make a connection here about how routine, while valuable, met with resistance when caring for Bill with dementia. He would often say, “This is the way I do it.” But it was not! Examples included wanting to wear an undershirt under his nightshirt and confusion about the time to get ready for bed (Sundowners Syndrome). I am devoted to routine, and yet it was the main thing I needed to “let go” when dealing with dementia.

Applying some of those reasons for routine, I’ll show how I prefer them and how a dementia patient might resist. I’ll not go through the whole 18 reasons, but here are a few.

“Reduce our need to plan” is one that suits me, because it’s good to know ahead of time what’s expected for the day. Often during caregiving, we used the expression “new every day.” We could not predict what one day would be, based on a previous day.

Routine “creates structure in our lives,” and that’s certainly true. But structure is out the window when dementia arrives. Each day is different, and there’s no concrete structure. It wasn’t easy to adjust, because I expected what was not to be our present situation.

Two combined: routine “instills good habits” and “breaks bad habits.” Bad habits overtook the good ones, those that the dementia person preferred in his former days. That included issues of cleanliness (not wanting to shower) and incontinence (even what’s worn to stay dry). I faced resistance not only from Bill but from myself.

“Helps reduce stress” sounds like a good goal, but that didn’t work well with my attitude toward dementia. Every day was stress-related, and a routine couldn’t help. It was the need for me to accept what came along and learn to be kind in word and deed. That’s where my relationship with God came in. I quote a prayer found on YouVersion:

“God, You reign above all! You are above all things and you hold all things together. Your name is holy, and Your words bring life and healing. You make known to me the paths that lead to life! All glory, honor, power, and praise belong to You alone! In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

P.S. If you’re interested in knowing more about all 18 reasons for the value of routine, go online for Skilled on Life. I list them here, but they are expanded on the website.

  1. Makes Us More Efficient
  2. Reduces Our Need to Plan
  3. Creates Structure in Our Lives
  4. Saves Time, Our Most Valuable Resource
  5. Instills Good Habits
  6. Breaks Bad Habits
  7. Helps Us Become More Proficient
  8. Helps Us Get the Most Important Tasks Done
  9. Prioritization
  10. Reduces the Need for Determination and Willpower
  11. Reduces Procrastination
  12. Builds Momentum
  13. Builds Self-Confidence
  14. Saves Us Money
  15. Helps Reduce Stress and Facilitate Relaxation
  16. Frees Up Our Time
  17. Helps Us Achieve Our Goals
  18. Keeping Track of Our Success