Tag: books

I’m Ready; Now Wait

Things get rusty with time and moisture.

Hugging my knees, I sat on the front steps of our house built on twelve acres. Red cedar banisters framed the concrete and brick porch. Fresh mulch, wet by an early shower, darkened the newly turned soil. The flower bed between two maple trees was readied, and I awaited a gift of hostas from my friend’s garden. We would plant one more page in our dream home.

When something is ready, what usually follows is a time of waiting. For me, that’s the difficult part. As with my writing, when one piece or manuscript is ready, I want to move on. As with my memoir about caregiving, I’ve written and am satisfied it’s finished. But the work toward publication adds to the process. I’m sending submissions to literary agents, for once again I’d like to try and secure traditional publishing. Memoir is not easy for that route, unless the author is famous. Definitely not me. I think my memoir is unique in its honest approach of how I tended to caring for Bill during his dementia. How do I convince someone it’s worth publishing and it will attract an audience beyond my friends?

So I wait to hear back from agents if they want to pursue a publisher for my memoir. The agent first has to be convinced in order to convince a publisher. One drawback of waiting is that things get rusty, but they also need moisture. In my case, it’s how I use the waiting time. I could add sweat and tears, but that would not get me an answer. How vulnerable should I be in presenting my case for publication? I definitely don’t have the name, and my platform needs work, but I’m more filled with self-doubt over the craft of writing. Is it truly worthy of publication for a wider readership? Will it sell? That’s what an agent and a publisher are looking for. It amounts to their educated and reliable consideration. If it doesn’t meet approval, I will again go the route of self-publishing. This time I might even try it myself instead of my favorite hybrid publisher. I have to consider the $ cost.

While waiting upon a response from the right agent, I can work on my next projects: Bill’s book on holiness and articles already started for magazines. Waiting can be rewarding if I put my mind and effort into it. A good reward is what’s waiting in this business of publication.

P.S. If you are an interested buyer for An Honest Caregiver when published, please send me your email address.  al2.coker@gmail.com  Thanks.

Help Has Steps

Facing new decisions with caregiving, I mentally said, “I need help,” and thought of this cute photo. This child’s face could be my own expression. But now I know help in many and various ways.

“Help” moved me to think of The Pilgrim’s Progress where Pilgrim was stuck in the bog and Help, a person, came to get him out. Help asked, “But why did you not look for the Steps?” with Bunyan’s biblical reference: “When I was in great need, he saved me” (Psalm 116:6).

Pilgrim’s help was available in the steps that would rescue him from the Slough of Despond. Once out of the bog, Help bid him to continue on his way, but first Pilgrim asked why the Slough of Despond was placed along the Way. I relate this tale in my book, Journey with Bunyan’s Pilgrim, and add my takeaway:

“Pilgrim’s question is also one I might ask. Why would such a place of mud and mire be left to hinder a Christian along the way of salvation? The answer Bunyan gave by way of Help can be borne out in my own experience. . . . Asking for help hasn’t slowed down my process but instead given answers to speed me on my way.”

Why do I need Help now? Bill’s Alzheimer’s disease has moved into the advanced stage, and we need to examine Steps to make life easier for him and us as caregivers. Becky, Paul and I talked about next Steps. At first, options included: (1) Changes in furniture and equipment such as a hospital bed and wheelchair, requiring that we move current furniture; (2) Senior Care in-home personal care from a local agency; (2) Move to a memory care unit in an assisted living facility. All are good and cost factors vary. What do we do next and what benefits us best?

While researching the options, we turned to another not exactly on the original list. We have chosen Hospice in-home care, and it’s been the right decision. That means end-of-life care, an honest evaluation. In two days Bill was evaluated and signed up because of two main criteria: lack of mobility and poor communication. A hospital bed was ordered and assembled in our bedroom; a schedule of helpers arranged; and the care we needed lined up. The first day on the schedule brought to our home: RN case manager, social worker, chaplain, and an aide. Each performed suitable and needed tasks with professional skill and gentle care. Of course, I still rely on our daughter with her nursing skill and our son-in-law with his good ideas and encouragement. Many friends and family members have sent loving notes of concern and prayers. Above all, we are grateful for our Lord’s help.

Help is available, and we have followed God’s guidance for the best Steps to take.

Though None Go with Me

Title Page, early edition from the Religious Tract Society, London

In The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan’s Pilgrim saw the grim reality of what his decision meant to leave a city in ruins, but his main concern focused on salvation, safety now and for eternity. He decided to leave home in search of redemption, as he invited those whom he loved to go with him. When none would go with Pilgrim, it came to a parting of their ways.

“Now he had not run far from his own door, but his wife and children perceiving it, began to cry after him to return” (p. 4, Barbour edition). This scene was based on Lot’s exit from Sodom and the warning the angels gave his family.

“As soon as they [the angels] had brought them out, one of them said, ‘Flee for your lives. Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plains’” (Genesis 19:17),

Here Bunyan also introduced the cost of discipleship. If we are not willing to leave mother and father, wife and children, any family member, we cannot follow Christ. (See Luke 14:26, 27.) This reminds me of a seminary student we met years ago.

The student served Bill and me a simple meal in his seminary apartment, but his testimony became the main course. He had come from an Asian country to Kentucky, USA, for ministerial studies, and at quite a cost. He could no longer claim family as his own, for once he declared his allegiance to Christ, his parents disowned him. In a personal way, he introduced me to the persecuted church.

Something for you to think about: Was your conversion viewed by family with joy or disdain? How did that affect your commitment?

~ excerpt from Journey with Bunyan’s Pilgrim by Ann L. Coker

Privileges

Spilled-out Beauty = Privileges

While listening to the song “How Great Thou Art” on Spotify, I remembered as a teenager singing in the choir during a Billy Graham Crusade in New Orleans. Later as an adult I had the privilege of being a youth counselor at a Graham crusade in Lexington, Kentucky. During that event I found out how a counselor connects with someone going forward during the invitation. This memory led me to mentally enumerate the many privileges I’ve had during my lifetime, too many to list here.

When Bill asked my hand in marriage, my first thought was one of regret. Strange, yes. But I had sensed the Lord leading me to a mission field someday. Being a pastor’s wife seemed to exclude that opportunity. But no. Bill and I have been on several short-term mission trips: first in Colombia, South America, then several countries in the Orient, India, Russia, and Africa. I even went with a group (without Bill) to Ireland. God has allowed me to participate in a wide range of travels, including Israel and Germany, something I’d not anticipated as a youth.

Giving up a scholarship to Birmingham Southern University in order to marry Bill, I thought a college degree was also not in my future. But while Bill taught at Asbury College, I enrolled and graduated 20 years after completing high school. Our four children agreed to my college attendance even when it consumed us for six years. What a privilege; for it led me to explore journalism in various fields of creativity, which included being on staff at Good News magazine, led by my professor.

I moved from being a professor’s wife and returned to my preference as pastor’s wife while working in pro-life agencies. Then retirement added the privilege of compiling Bill’s messages into published books. His influence continues. Many other privileges I could list, but I’ll conclude by mentioning (not by name) the friends we’ve met along our journey of ministry. As we say in the Emmaus community: God is good all the time. I thank God for allowing me to enjoy all these privileges.