Musings on Discipline — Bill Coker (January 2002)

Old Books (not Bill’s bookshelves)

I am thinking still about resolutions for this year. The word that emerges again and again is “discipline.” Disciplines regarding time (back to reading habits when we had no TV hook-up); discipline of my body (preparing my body for the extended time which I want to have); discipline of my spiritual growth (prayer and fasting, maintaining my Greek and Hebrew, reading in the area of spiritual formation from classical literary texts).

All this sounds great but may be too ambitious, the reason why most resolutions fail. Rather than establishing a rigid goal, I want to cultivate this discipline so that should the Lord allow me to be around a year hence, I will see improvement as well as further need for development.

For a new series, I have begun focusing on the Apostles’ Creed. I want to emphasize not only the critical importance of knowing what we believe but also the crisis generated both personally and in the Church – to say nothing of the impact on society and culture – by our failure as Christians to understand our faith and how it is determinative for our values, ethics, morals, and piety.

My reading of Dorothy Sayers’ Creed or Chaos has shaped the direction this series is taking. My reading of Heschel’s Man Is Not Alone is compelling me to look at faith from the aspect of God’s ineffability and man’s “awe,” as well as from revelation contained in the Scriptures.

I am being wonderfully stimulated by this challenge to me personally but am also wrestling with diversions – my need to establish an exercise program; my desire to get some outside work done; my own mental weariness and failure to spend more productive time in my study; my slow reading – along with my pastoral responsibilities (visiting the sick, supervising our youth ministry, developing a strong educational program for children); my involvement with Emmaus; whether or not the pastors’ forum is going to fly; and spending quality time with Ann.

Just thinking about this makes me realize why many pastors drop our or fall into the sin of sloth. I feel the threat of this latter, particularly as I realize there is far more to read (what I wish I had done earlier in my life and what I genuinely want to do now) than I’ll ever be able to accomplish. It would be easy to throw up my hands and say, “forget it,” and become satisfied with doing no more than is absolutely necessary for giving a homily.

[ Gleaned from a journal Bill Coker kept in 2002. ~AC ]