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This is an often-talked-about topic, and I’m writing not with a political or medical approach, but more from a personal angle about feelings. That’s harder to express and not get in the way of how others feel.
I miss connecting and being with family and friends. You do too. For several months of Sundays, we have not been able to have the grandsons and their wives over for dinner. Bill and I are the reason for that decision, for we are the old folks, the ones most at risk. Father’s Day was the first time they visited, and we had a happy reunion.
Bill has not understood why we could not go to church. We would explain, but he would ask again. One day Paul showed him a world map to indicate how the virus is worldwide, not only in Indianapolis, not only for our church. That would last only until the question arose the following Sunday. Now for three Sundays we have gone to church, but wearing the masks poses another question of why. And under his mask he doesn’t sing along. We sit for an hour, separated from other worshipers and then return home. Good to be together, but different.
Doctors have begun to keep rescheduled appointments, and we abide by the restrictions. For the first visit, Bill asked why we had to wear a mask. Again I explained about the virus, and he said nothing like this has happened in his lifetime. I agreed. Lately he just puts on the mask.
I emphasize with those who live alone, but I don’t call or write them enough. What do I say? How can I help? It’s all a sad part of the disconnect.
In the midst of this pandemic, I sense the disconnect in my attitude and have to curb my imagination. If I feel left out of an activity or a conversation, what does that say about our relationship? Inviting myself to a pity party is too easy. I beg myself to take reasonable steps back to what’s the truth.
One step that’s proven beneficial involves technology. I have been a part of several Zoom meeting with groups related to writing and volunteer positions. One Zoom meeting with friends in Oregon got me to yearn for more. From Paul I learned how to invite others to a Zoom visit. One visit with my sister in NM made us both happy. Next week we’ll meet with my brother in OK. The three of us are in different time zones, so I had to research that for setting the start time. These visual visits are also good to help Bill connect relationships. I’ll soon plan some time with other family and friends. I’m on to something.